Note to self, forget that I have a birthday.

It is only 9 in the morning and I have:
Discovered roaches IN MY GOD DAMNED COFFEE POT
Had to boil my coffee pot to make it useable
Wound up spilling water on my keyboard
WOUND UP RUINING MY KEYBOARD
Had to find a USB keyboard that is too fucking tiny for my hands.

I am inconceivably angry.