I have my own shit going on and I'm on the verge of snapping right now. I'm trying to tell the fucking truth, and honestly, it's going to come out skewed because of all this shit going on with me. Why the fuck do I even blabber on about my own things when everyone's going to take me for a fucking liar? That's what I'm told I have. BY FUCKING PROFESSIONALS. I'm not doing it for shits and giggles, I'm trying to give some insight. I don't have the privilege of having a fancy college or university education so that I could be a smartass about everything and be on my high horse around other people, and I'm probably not going to go because of how much of a nightmare the education system has already been for me.

You hardly know anything about me beyond what little I've said here, and honestly, there's still a lot of shit I can't talk about on a public forum. I have to take meds so that I'm not violently attacking people and having the cops put me in handcuffs and take me to the fucking hospital where I'm locked up in cold little rooms for hours if not days. Restrained. Having the shit beaten out of me. And those are my experiences. I don't expect you to believe me. And honestly, I wouldn't wish what I've gone through and what I still am haunted by and still have to go through each day on anyone else. But that's what happened, because human society sucks. And the people who claim to understand me and say they are oh-so-idealistic and tolerant end up being those who hurt me the most. I'm better off not trusting people at all.

I'm better off not talking about my life at all, but I end up doing it anyways because I can't filter what I say. This is why I end up becoming such a huge chew toy, both in real life and on the internet. Because I can't get my point across at all. It comes out all wrong.

Everything's just all kerfuffled lately. I need a break.