I feel something I haven't felt in a long, long time... I feel, I do believe, outcasted. By everyone I know. IRP: I only ever RP in the IC with David and Spirit, when he's here. I never get replies from Soul anymore, and I can only get about for posts each in with Whizz before I stop getting replies, every time. I wouldn't say anything about this if it only happened once, but it's been a couple if months since this started. Since around the time I was saved. OOC, David and Dark have debated, disputed with and discouraged each other non stop, with nary a way for me to help, stop, end, or support, in any manner. Blitz leaves every two weeks, and was forced to tears by the carelessness of the way we talk here. This cut my plot short and forced me to dim down a character's end. This wouldn't fit here with the rest at all normally, but it only adds to my sorrow when I think of it. Whizz and David seem to have developed a relationship in having a high mutual understanding of God, his work, the logic behind him, and... Really everything. This knowledge has formed a blatant bond between them, while Blitz admits he doesn't like the discussions involving religion here, and Dark sits on the opposite end of the extreme. Soul, I have no idea of the manner, but he isn't involved in those conversations either. However, back to my point, this relationship formed because of their understanding of our entire religion, something which I truly lack. This has kind of created a somewhat distant island that I sit on alone; an island of ignorance. Ignorance and willingness to learn more, but not enough time to do so as I'd like. So I stay here, shipwrecked, and I can feel the loneliness setting in more and more, as I'm not able to participate in these conversations. Ever since I started to show my 100% true personality in the OOC (Around the time I was saved), I can also feel some sort of new force driving everyone's opinion of me in a new direction. I'm no idiot, despite my ability to act like one for entertainment's sake, but I feel that I am no more than a court jester here anymore. IRL: My dad continues to pelt me with lectures about everything, ranging from blaming me for teachers not giving me my summer assignments before I get out of school, to not doing the dishes by a certain time of day, everyday, to me starting to show anger and sorrow openly due to the way everything in my life has started going south quickly. I feel as though my dad doesn't know how to talk to me without lecturing or fussing at me, which, on top of my mom always working either at work or here on here arts & crafts projects, makes me feel lonely... As though I'm lacking the kind of parents that I need. My cousins never talk to me anymore. They just cut the line. I used to be such good friends with them... All of my friends like the same girl now. Every. Stinking. One... Except me. So we let her into our group, and they all herd around her, leaving me by myself most of the day. When I do try to talk to them while they're around her, I'm ignored. Simply ignored. Doesn't matter now though, I guess. School's out. After all this, I hope you all can realize where this deep inner depression I now have has come from, and that I need some time to set things right in my head before I go so insane that they'll put me in a hospital. I need to not be here for a day or two and just pray. All I want to do. I want to work on my summer work and pray to God, because I've hoped things will fix themselves soon, but they only continue to get worse. And worse. And worse. And worse. And I'm sick of life screwing me over. So, until I come to terms with what my life is now, goodbye, and God bless.