[quote=neko_sama]
Personal InformationName: Benjamin,EliasNickname: BenAge: 19Gender: maleSexuality: straightAppearance Description of Appearance: on the tall side,with long dreadlocks,and dark skin.Athletic build.Style:Disposition usually kind,and happy,but has a very harsh temper when triggered.Likes: Art,music,working out,and fight training.Dislikes: loud ppl,the unrefined,and those without restraint.Personality:If you asked most people,they'd tell you he's a good guy.that he'd never hurt a fly,in all honesty he's gentle at heart,and a loving soul.but in reality he can be very malevolent,and manipulative.he's a great secret keeper,a master lier,and more than a little sadistic.he has never been a fan of hurting others without reason,however given a reason he cam remorselessly deal with others.calm,and cool headed,he has no apprehension at the thought of using others to reach his goals.but at the same time,he's generous,and willing to help other.the question being to what end? Fears: he fears very little,except dog's,and spiders.PastHistory:Benjamin was raised trailing the world with his parents.as he grew older his family began to fall apart leading to a divorce,and the suicide of his mother.his father later became physically,and verbally abusive.as time moved on Ben grew older,and more able to defend himself,eventually turning the tables on his father,and killing him.he was in the USA at that time,and went to trial.he was found not guilty.As he continued on in life he became caught up in the occult,to the point he was a high ranking member of a coven.At some point he created his own cloven,heralded as the second coming by those of a mind to do so.his skill in the art of manipulation grew tremendously as the years went by.by the time he was 19,having joined the cloven at 18,was considered the highest ranking member under their leader.when it was time for his final ceremony,he was tasked withe retrieving a sacrifice.he achieved his goal,yet felt remorse at the idea of killing an innocent.soon after he left the coven,his thought's weighing heavy on his mind as he nodded off in his bed.
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Not accepted. Sorry, but the grammar is not advanced and the character is bland and simple. I'm sorry, but it's not advanced level. My criticism is to work on your grammar and put spaces between punctuation marks so it doesn't appear cluttered. There is not enough details and too many spelling mistakes. Another thing is to make your character flawed - you put technical flaws in them, but then you contradicted those flaws. He's malevolent, but he doesn't hurt others without a reason? A sadist that doesn't hurt without reason is just...not likely. Possible, but not likely - and uninteresting. The only way it could work is if he has a black-and-white view on right and wrong, subsequently making it where most of the time he kills a rather innocent person over a small wrong. Please don't be offended by my critique, I'm only trying to help you in the long run.