First of all, Phones, sad to see you go.

And in reply to the discussion.

Apologies.

There's pretty much no other way I will be able to put this. I pretty much messed up, and I'm sorry.

Apologies for constantly being that one person who's lagging behind, despite constantly being reminded and promising that I'll get more active "when things clear up" - an event which took me a while to realize that was just about never going to happen even though I keep looking forward to it. I was informed of the three day rule when I joined and I knew the best I could usher would be 2 posts per week and frankly I ended up not even keeping up to that standard.

Apologies for the lack of action in posts. I had become aware of this issue as well, although I didn't truly realize how troublesome it is until recently. Most importantly how I missed out of almost the entirety of the end scene with the dragons, into which I only threw in a catchup post and a reaction at a plan, and then proceeded to miss a cycle and ended up completely loosing track of what was happening. In a way this lack of action is directly related to the inconsistency in posting, which is my biggest problem. It could've been better than this - Fox mentioned the fight sequences back at the caves. It happened when exams were just over and I was enthusiastic and those posts were something I was satisfied with - that sequence was something I had an insane amount of fun with. I also proved that it wasn't really life that was hindering my progress, not as much as my own procrastination and my own being distracted. That feeling in the cave posts was something that I wished could be pulled off again at this end of a chapter. I failed.

Apologies for the lack of character development. This, by far, hurts the most out of all the things I read and write and think at this moment. I designed Leila to be distant from everyone else at first with the very explicit intention of changing that later on. I'm the most aware that "character" is no excuse here. [i]I wrote a character that was nothing unless development happens and then I did nothing with it[/i]. I have no idea why. I don't know why I was hesitant. I'm sorry.

I remember seeing the interest check on this roleplay over at the old guild and it was a gorgeous idea. I thought I could push myself just that bit so that both the quality and quantity of my writing would meet the standards so that I could be part of this. I fell pretty pathetically short of both goals.

I'm very, very sorry about this.

I also have to say thank you, all of you, so much for calling me out on this nonsense. I feel absolutely guilty about the fact that I've been under-performing for so long - even I was aware of it myself - and it was put up with. I allowed it to continue and you had to tolerate it. I'm glad that things were finally pointed out.

Regrets out of the way, I guess it's about time I started fixing things up. Adjustments will be made accordingly. Attempts to correct what I did wrong will be carried out. Character interaction will start out slow, but I will ensure it happens. Same with the development I wanted to do for so long. I admit that I probably still won't be able to be one of the first people to post every cycle, and I probably will still miss out on a cycle once in a while when things in real life get into the way, but that will be kept at minimum and reports in the OOC are sure to be filed when necessary.

As indecent as everything I do has been so far, I dare to say here that I wish to stay. I've been slow, I've been confused, I've lost motivation at more than one point; I've caused all this trouble. But in the end I still want to be a part of this. And so I wish to stay, because you are all amazing people and this is an amazing place and I will probably never get over it if this goes away without me trying my best.

The Train has been a pleasant journey so far. And I intend that this journey continue.