[b]Anonymous Internet Board somewhere in cyberspace...[/b]

No Han shot first!!!!!!11
-posted by scifan404

Actually no he didn't.
-posted by fractalfairy

Blashphemy!
-posted by scifan404

Greedo shot first, absolutely sure of it.
-posted by fractalfairy

How so sure?
-posted by xxjedimastrxx

Because I'm an elf. 
-posted by fractalfairy

:ou Haha
-posted by scifan404

Wrong forum Tolkein-fanboi :punch
-posted by ewok4life

In a crack between two walls in the rotten heart of a modern city, squeezed a small room with every modern convenience an industrious machine elf could provide for himself. LED lamps lit the room and ionizers constructed from laptop fans filtered the otherwise stale and spore infested air. A touchpad propped upright like a massive computer monitor dominated one wall, it's pixilated display broken only by the pointy eared silhouete of a three and a half inch tall elf. It was soon joined by a second, as another fairy entered through the tiny cubicle's sliding mouse-door. 

Krith craned his elfin head over his brother's narrow shoulder. The older alfar frowned at the endless stream of ceaseless chatter scrolling down along the modified lcd of a 'borrowed' human cell phone. The machine elves excelled at transforming scavenged human pocket tech into desktop computers they could access at their perceptive and temporal scale. On the monitor reflecting Sil's long pointed ears and mischievious grin, images flashed along at 300 frames a second with resolutions upwards of 5000 pp, fast and refined enough to trick the elf's acute eyes the way a plodding 30 frame per second movie fooled a human's. It was a challenge from a technical perspective, making a computer system as twitchy as an elf, but it pretty much assured that they carried the top scores in Team Fortress and every other high paced shooter.

"Is this all you've been doing while I've been out?" Krith groaned, "trolling starwars geeks?"

Sil grinned, "oh no, this is all part of a larger project. You see," he flipped the touch screen to bring up a divided window, "I have two troll threads, one over here with the star wars people and another over here with the trekkies... and once I get each flamed up to the right temperature, I drop a couple subtle hyperlinks and cross the streams. Suddenly you have a bunch of pissed off trekkies and starwars geeks all in the same confined board..."

"And then what?" Krith asked straining to find the point.

"Then we sit back and enjoy the lulz." 

Krith sighed, "I think you're spending too much time with gremlins."

"You just don't appreciate the evil genius of this project. It's like secretly inviting an acid and a base that hate each other to a date in the same beaker."

"Just make sure you clear the history after you're done, we don't want your little comments there to be traced back here by a judicar or any other arm of the Council." He pointed a long, accusatory finger to one of the more recent posts. 

"But that's actually the truth, I mean to an elf that firefight between Hans and Greedo takes nearly full five seconds to transpire, it's clear that Greedo did in fact..."

"Don't. Just don't. You know exactly what I'm talking about. The Unseelie may not take many things seriously, but breaking the fourth wall is certainly one of those things. They find you exposing the fairy even as a joke online, and you'll wind up banished in your own private dreamland for all time."

"Actually when you put it that way it doesn't sound that bad." 

"Just shut up and get yourself ready. That Seelie ball is tonight."

"Oh you mean the one we're not stabbed for showing up at."

"Yes that one, now get your tucks."

"But what about the trolling?"

Krith reached in and killed the windows evoking a chagrin on his brother's face equal to an artist witnessing the brutal destruction of his greatest masterpiece. "I dislike that word, whoever made it up never saw a real troll in the flesh."

"Actually they did," Sil corrected, "a machine elf invented the term."