Each time Church opened his mouth, Kenna felt an extra pound of guilt settle in her stomach. True, he said his accusations with a wry smile and a light tone, but being late to her first mission made her feel especially lousy. [i]Hi! I’m Kenna, I’m new to one of the most reputable sectors in Sundown, but I can’t complete a sentence without stuttering, I break down in front of fellow members – oh! And I’ll be late to my first mission. Good luck with that![/i] 

She winced at her own thoughts. She shouldn’t be reverting back to that negative way of thinking already! She had just done so well, laughing with Henry like a normal person without much worrying, but now that she was with a group she was automatically slipping into that old rut. With the first mission soon to commence, Kenna couldn’t risk being distracted by such menial things – She was late, she got berated, end of discussion. Learn from your mistakes and all that, she just had to be careful not to be late again.

If only she could tell herself that in a way that would make her believe it.

Back when they were in Sector N together, Kenna never really understood Sonia’s nicknames for people (or the more recent ‘Church Kitty’ comments) but now, Kenna could fully understand why the girl had labelled her with the ‘Negative Bunny’ tag. She couldn’t say she agreed with the nickname, but Kenna could see where Sonia was coming from.

When the data-pad got passed around to her after Klaus, Kenna read it fully – twice – before passing it on to the next person, torn between apprehension and anticipation for the upcoming mission. It didn’t make sense to Kenna, the very concept of religion, it seemed... far-fetched. The belief that some greater being is responsible for all existence seemed dubious at best. However, she wasn’t one to scorn it. She felt envious of those able to have that faith to the extent that the existence of the greater being grants them a sense of safety, of comfort. She wished she had something like that, a proverbial safety-blanket.

Despite her not-scorning rule, Kenna had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at the thought of immunity to the Servitutem formula being a [i]gift from God[/i]. Kenna wasn’t especially smart or anything, and she didn’t understand half of it, but she knew that immunity was gained solely by genetic and scientific means. Or, at least, that’s how she understood it. Still, that’s extremists for you.

As she read, a phrase on the data-pad stuck out to her – [i]ground level.[/i] 

Kenna hadn’t been on real ground for more than six months, the last time being just before she took to the rooftops in search of the Runners. Weirdly enough, despite how much she loved being a part of Sundown, Kenna was looking forward to being on real solid ground again. It’d been a while, longer than she had ever thought. It seemed odd now, to think that being on solid ground would be such an unfamiliar thing to her when it’s something that she experienced every day as a Wage Slave. Then again, she always said that life as a Wage Slave could hardly be considered living. Runners gave up a lot, sure – c’mon, hot chocolate was considered a delicacy! – but Wage Slaves gave up their freedom. Was it worth being a mindless non-entity if it meant she believed she was happy? Were the Runners any better, having freedom yet being faced with hardships? Neither seemed especially desirable, but that’s life she supposed. 

Church’s warning stuck out to her, drawing her away from philosophies. She hadn’t thought about the differences in altitude or the effect that would have on the oxygen levels. Slow and sluggish? Kenna already feared her performance with the new sector, never mind when her limited skills were hindered! She just had to try harder, that’s all. Make that extra effort, take extra care. The rest of Sector V knew that she was young and inexperienced, so they’d probably cut her some slack, right? Like what Henry had said to her – they’d be disappointed if they knew that she thought she could disappoint them. They’re bound to be as accepting as Henry, so she had nothing to worry about. Right.

But her hands were shaking. Different from when she was having an attack, this time purely from nerves. The kind of nerves that you’d get before an important meeting, or when trying something new. This is all it was. Kenna was trying something new, going on her first mission as a part of V. No worries. Okay.

[i]“So... I don’t want to see any acrobatics on the way down, okay? You aren’t going to be able to maintain it. If you’re in trouble, call for me: Otherwise, keep it simple.”[/i]

That lessened the knots of worry in her stomach and Kenna felt herself relax slightly. At least there was no pressure to do anything flashy, and Church had offered his help to those who needed it so he’d hardly belittle anyone who took him up on his offer. The thought comforted Kenna to the extent that she had to hold in a rare snort of laughter – as if she could perform any acrobatics anyway!

Acacia joined them and Kenna felt herself relax just that little bit more. It may be a bit more underhanded than she was used to, but Kenna was glad that she wasn’t the last one to arrive. Even so, she greeted Acacia with a glance in her direction and a brief wave.

As the tension coiled in her muscles dissipated, Kenna felt her excitement for the dawning mission increase. It would be rough, being on ground level, and it’d probably get a little hairy at times, but Kenna was looking forward to the opportunity. She could run, taste that freedom, and hopefully be of some use to her Sector. Maybe her timid personality could come in handy. If she tried hard, then the no doubt down-right lousy expectations of her performance could be beaten and she could prove herself to be better than her Sector had anticipated.

At the end of the day, Kenna was a Runner, a part of Sundown. And she was no less competitive than the rest of them.