As Church berated them lightheartedly, Eva maintained an amused expression, the corners of her mouth curling upwards as her eyebrows slanted in the same direction. At a glance, she looked laid back, if not a bit embarrassed. Her hands had disappeared into her pockets, but she continued to lean up against the gate like she owned the place. She was calm, relaxed, confident…she was Eva Janssen, second-in-command of Sector V, she couldn’t be anything [I]but[/I] confident. 

If anyone were to look closely, though, they would see the way her chest barely rose and fell with each shallow breath she took. They would see the way the muscles of her jaw trembled as she grit her teeth, and they would see the tightness around her eyes, the stiffness of her neck and shoulders, the outline of a fist clenched so tightly it was beginning to quiver in her pocket.

In truth, Eva was anything but relaxed – and she certainly wasn’t confident, though not for lack of effort. She was glad to be out of the infirmary, and especially grateful for the chance to get back out into the open air, but she felt like she was watching a nightmare unfold in front of her. As hard as she was trying to convince herself otherwise, she wasn’t ready for another mission in any way, shape, or form – especially not this one. 

The last mission had been a disaster, even if it had ultimately ended in success. There had been too many close calls. Valeria had practically crippled her, and then Church as well when he was forced to come to her rescue. He had, quite literally, come face to face with death in the form of a gun barrel pressed to his forehead – it was the first time that Eva had ever truly feared she might lose him, and it was a fear so intense she felt she could have suffocated on it. 

In her frantic attempt to save him, a child had been injured…possibly worse. She couldn’t bring herself to ask. But worse yet…she felt no remorse. She would never forgive herself for bringing harm to a child, but she couldn’t regret taking the actions needed to save Church, her sector leader, her friend, her partner in crime. She didn’t know what she would do if she ever lost him. She couldn’t bring herself to imagine life without a single member of her sector – the world may as well just stop turning. 

And yet, here they stood – Sector V was fully assembled, and Daisy’s face was not among them. The girl, who had been a teammate and friend alike, was dead…yet the world kept turning. Life went on. They hadn’t even had a chance to properly grieve the loss, and they were already headed out on another mission. And it terrified Eva more than she would have ever thought possible. 

She wanted to protect each and every one of them herself, but even her stubborn ego knew that wasn’t possible. She wanted to tell Church to shut up and take them back inside, to call the mission off and keep them all locked away somewhere safe. She wanted to get on her knees and beg them not to go, to disband Sector V and have each of them go into a safer profession. 

But she knew she couldn’t do that – and not just because they would be in a world of trouble if they just abandoned a mission. It was because they were Runners. They lived for this. They were meant to run from the moment they were born, and it simply wasn’t an option to just…stop. That was like asking a fish to grow a pair of legs and start walking on land. Running was in their nature, they were either born or bred for it. The life of a Runner was far from easy – they wouldn’t be living it if they weren’t cut out for it, if it wasn’t the only option they had. 

So, Eva kept her mouth shut and smiled and nodded compliantly as Church spoke, hiding the fact that every word he said felt like a stake being driven straight through her heart. Her feet had not touched the ground since she left Belgium. She had been young at the time, so she didn’t remember much, but she remembered enough to know not to doubt Church’s words. The ground level was dangerous and risky, and they were headed straight for it. 

She was consumed with worry, so lost in her thoughts that she barely even skimmed over the contents of the datapad as it was passed to her before sending it on its way to the next individual. That was going to pose a problem – she couldn’t afford to be distracted, not right now. They would be descending soon, and she needed to [I]focus[/I]. They had several relatively new Runners, and she needed to make sure she would be available to lend a hand if they needed one – she wouldn’t be much help if she was getting herself into trouble simply because she was too busy being paranoid. 

Her eyes fell on the large bruise decorating the Acacia’s shoulder as the medic joined them, and she grimaced, thinking of what Nadine had told just half an hour ago. It was her responsibility to look out for their newest members – sitting back and mulling over everything that could go wrong really wasn’t going to do them any good. Clearing her throat quietly, she pushed off against the gate and finally decided to actively join in the conversation. 

“Well, it sounds like we’ve got one hell of a job ahead of us! I’m tempted to crack a joke or two at our dear leader’s expense right now, but I’m actually going to be taking his lead on this one. He knows what he’s talking about. While we’re out there, just keep your ears open and if he tells you to run, you run. He tells you to jump, don’t even ask how high, you just jump. As long as you listen to him, you’ll be just fine.” Tilting her head, she gave them a bright grin, doing her best to look encouraging. “What he said goes for me as well – if you hit any snags along the way, just give me a holler. Those of you that have joined more recently, if you’re nervous, go ahead and pick a ‘senior’ to tail – we’ll take care of finding good lines, you just follow our lead and focus on running. Stay close, but not so close that you’re tripping over each other’s shoe laces, alright?” 

Taking her hands out of her pockets, she turned to speak to Church directly, letting her grin shrink slightly. She knew there wasn’t much use in trying to pretend with him, but she still kept a lighthearted smile plastered firmly against her face. “If you’re going to be leading the way, I’ll take up the rear. If you don’t mind, that is,” She chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck lightly. “Wouldn’t want to step on your toes, or anything.”