So...I was looking through the characters and the rest of the thread to see if i missed something and I saw something I thought i needed to comment on extensively for the GM and everyone else's benefit. I know I'm just a player and just now showed interest/put up a CS, but I hope these points will be read and considered. Otherwise things in the RP's IC could get really...out of hand really fast...and not in the good way either. Not saying all the points are correct, just making observations from the information presented.

[hider=Worrisome Part 1]
Excerpts all from [url=http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/41409/posts/ooc?page=4#post-1266022]Hyakune su Jikankizami, Ra.[/url]

[quote=Kuroi Kamen]Each of these bolts are sealed to allow no passage of chakra into them, but to allow chakra out, and are surprisingly difficult to cut through (they resist most swords easily). In addition to this aspect of the veil, it is also a mask that covers Ra’s ears, mouth, nose and eyes. This mask is covered in seals that filter out any harmful substances that would enter Ra’s body, in addition to dampening any particularly loud sounds or sounds designed to have an adverse effect on the body.[/quote]
So it filters pretty much anything harmful to her in the entire area of her head, more or less. She can't be poisoned, drowned, influenced by sound-based genjutsu, deafened, blinded, etc etc. Anything that you decide is harmful is filtered by the seals on the fabric. She can even potentially block swords (and likely other weapons) with it, even though it's simple cloth (inscribed with fuuinjutsu of course). I bet the momentum/inertia in those weapons or blows is also nullified by the seals because it's "harmful."

[quote=Tōsei no Eien; Tenchi Gensō]Some techniques, such as genjutsu, can be forced upon victims if they are simply in range of the aura.[/quote]
So wait, let me get this straight. The aura allows the user to activate their jutsu anywhere within it/from any point of it the user chooses? That would include jutsu utilzied through the Chigoku Inkan I presume, which means if you're standing within 20 ft of Ra, you can suddenly be on fair, or be paralyzed, or...just be dead. I mean, she's a kage level ninja, she likely has an amount of chakra capable of fueling a seal that is marked "death," not to mention a seal that has a more specific/elaborate method of execution, pun intended.

In addition to that, you can force people into genjutsu if they're merely within range. That's devious and kinda...broken tbh.

However, it's made worse by this methinks:
[quote= Tenchi Gensō]Through the Tenchi Gensō, the user is easily able to lull people into genjutsu as long as they are within the chakra aura, and minor [B-Ranked or less] genjutsu can be forced onto an opponent simply by pointing at them.[/quote]

B ranked techniques are jounin level, more or less, meaning genjutsu utilized by the typical jounin (who are...kinda elite) can simply be handwaved upon someone as long as they're within 20 ft. Idk what's worse, the fact that this sentence exists, or the fact that it was blindly accepted :/

[quote=地]The true strengths of the technique lie in its subtle abilities to manipulate illusions, as well as blur the boundary in the mind that separates illusion from reality.[/quote] It goes on to explain that the Chi (earth) aspect more or less makes the user's genjutsu more believable. They aren't infallible, just harder to notice and thus break. This is compounded on the fact that Ra can handwave people into B rank or lower genjutsu techniques.

Yeah, let that sink in.

[quote=天]With Ten, two things happen: Ra transcends the traditional plane in terms of genjutsu, and can no longer become subject to any genjutsu bar her own under any circumstances. [/quote] If you're confused, this means that the Ten(Heaven) aspect makes Ra completely immune to all genjutsu except her own, not to mention that her veil pretty much does that already. She had redundant defenses against genjutsu. She can also influence the genjutsu of [I]other people[/I] making it possible for her to hijack other people's genjutsu. Oh yeah, and if you read the first part of her Kekkei genkai, this means that she could potentially hijack the chakra of these genjutsu as well and repurpose it either with her immense chakra control and/or her second Kekkei genkai, the Chigoku Inkan. Oh yeah, this also means that any genjutsu someone tries to cast on her not only will not effect her, but she can (and probably will) gain control of it.

[quote]However, this aura comes at a steep cost: As the Kekkei Genkai manifests and the user gains their unique version, they are locked into that "version"'s jutsu style and become unable to utilise their chakra for anything outside of it. Ra's Tenchi Gensō has locked her in to the fields of Genjutsu and Fuuinjutsu, and she is unable to use her chakra for any purpose outside of this bloodline, genjutsu or fuuinjutsu.[/quote]

This really isn't much of a weakness/cost considering all of the things that her two kekkei genkai can do (not to mention her taijutsu, which seems to just hide in the background as an irrelevant detail somehow...).

[quote=Chigoku Inkan]However, the power of the kanji is only as powerful as the chakra used to create it and the meaning of the word E.G. - Using the word ‘Fire’ is a dilute meaning as it can encompass anything - however, Inferno, Scorch, Blaze, et cetera are more specific and can produce more powerful effects, but do cost more chakra. The longer the word, or even a chain of words is/are, the more influence the user has but they cost more chakra to use. Some kanji, such as “invincible”, are not feasible simply because the user does not have enough chakra in their body to create such an effect. While the technique is versatile, it is not overly powerful.[/quote]

I'm pretty sure I already went over this, but while this does limit it a bit, it only limits the intensity somewhat. Plus, if the kanji are arranged properly specific effects might not cost more chakra, same goes for powerful ones. It's all about how the jutsu are created, which is why this Kekkei genkai is just as bad as the first one in terms of brokenness. 

[quote=Chigoku Inkan Weakness]The seals are constructs of pure chakra, brought into existence by the force of will of the user. In order to exert their effect upon an opponent, the Kanji must touch them. This can be done within half a foot of the user, or the Kanji can be launched at an opponent. As constructs of chakra, the seals are easily overpowered by a burst of foreign chakra. As the power of the seal is derived from its purity of shape, a well-controlled burst of chakra will split its form and break its power, rendering it useless. In addition, the user may not create kanji for elemental techniques of a chakra nature that they do not possess. The Chigoku Inkan does not, in of itself [I.e. there is not a technique in the jutsu section that says otherwise] possess the ability to infract upon the laws of the realm it is used in: I.e., it cannot defy physics. It cannot make you invincible. It cannot create black holes.[/quote]

Yeah, but Ra also has her other Kekkei genkai. Idk if this is the case, but that Kekkei genkai states that the user can activate jutsu at any point within the aura. So I figure that'd apply to this as well, right? If so, that's...terrifying, and no fun for anyone fighting this character.[/hider]
---
[hider=Worrisome Part 2]Ra has 29 custom jutsu + all canon genjutsu that aren't tied to a bloodline. Consider that.

[quote=Saimin Suimin]The Saimin Suimin is a very useful genjutsu that works by separating an opponent from their motor controls and rendering them unconscious. The technique is resistible as it works via an ‘addiction’ method of induction - looking at the chakra which Saimin Suimin stems from leaves the image of a swinging golden pendant that leaves a delicate golden trail - the more you look at it, the more you want to look at it, and if you stare for long enough [7-8 seconds is enough for A ranked nin if Ra uses a moderate amount of Chakra] then you are placed under the genjutsu’s effect.[/quote]

Of a "moderate amount of chakra" makes the technique A rank, that's okay to some degree, but that means anything and anyone below that could be handwaved into falling unconscious/losing control of their motor abilities. Is it apparent why the whole aura thing is a problem yet?

Also, considering how skilled Ra is stated to be in terms of manipulating people, chakra, not to mention her potent use of yin/genjutsu the weakness of this technique is subverted completely.

[quote=Ome Itetsuku]This jutsu causes the victim’s vision to be literally frozen....[/quote]
No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem.

[quote=Kui-Hikari]Creates an endless flash of light that normal vision will struggle to see through, and can disorient mentally weaker people. [/quote]
No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem.

[quote=Shūhen Kagizaki]....[/quote]
No shown rank, but can probably be handwaved onto someone. No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem.

[quote=Ippan-Kagami Gekai]....[/quote]
No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem.

[quote=Tsu no Hikari de Ni]....[/quote]
No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem.

[quote=Zenkei Ome Itetsuku] Much like the normal Ome Itetsuku, however, the Zenkei Ome Itetsuku causes the entire landscape around a user to be frozen in place rather than the sole image they were concentrating on at the time.[/quote]
No real problem with the technique, it's the handwave part that is the problem. Aka, everything around them appears as if frozen in time even though they can move, the world appears unchanged.

[quote=Satsuriku]Satsuriku induces a killing frenzy unto the enemy, and removes inhibitions/cautions that would otherwise keep a person from doing anything brash. The genjutsu itself depends on the victim, but generally shows the death of everyone dear to the victim at the hands of the caster.[/quote]
This makes the effect the genjutsu more realistic and thus possible. Thus it is less likely to be spotted as a genjutsu on top of the fact that Ra's genjutsu are naturally harder to spot as genjutsu. Oh yeah, and it can be handwaved.

[quote=Gensoku Jikan]The Gensoku Jikan is a peculiar genjutsu allowing Ra to control an opponent’s sense of time.[/quote]
While the concept is awesome, this is OP even without the possibility of handwaving. Reason being if someone is slashing at you, or if you're running towards a cliff and your sense of time is incorrect, you'll get the timing wrong and shit will go south real quick....

[quote=Genmetsu no Geijutsu]This peculiar Genjutsu allows the user to “disillusion” shapes the victim sees - causing one shape to appear to be another. [/quote]
I feel like I should have other problems with this, but I can't think of what they'd be. Regardless, it can be handwaved.

[quote=Tsurara Suimin] Forces an opponent to believe that they are sleeping, and that they wake up suddenly only to be impaled by an array of icicles.[/quote]
It can cause a heart attack in the victim due to shock. Aka, it's a genjutsu that can kill you...as a potential side effect. Did I mention the handwave?

[quote=Shosai no Kogeru]This genjutsu, simply enough, allows the user to erase memories separately from the, so long as they know the memory they are to erase.[/quote]
Discount [url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Genjutsu:_Sharingan]Sharingan: Genjutsu[/url]. What if the user erased the memory associated with the moment someone was born and learned to breath? It can be handwaved.

[quote=Sakuran]This genjutsu is specialised to break through even the strongest of resistances over time, and Ra will often leave people with it for days without food to break their minds.

The whispers are tuned to the victim, and are always relevant to horrible things that have happened to them in the past. The whispers pick at the flaws of the victim, and due to the nature of the genjutsu, are always very relevant and very effective.[/quote]

How are they always relevant? How does Ra have the knowledge to cause that. A genjutsu isn't sentient, it can't adapt without the user doing so manually. Making a genjutsu, or any other jutsu, that adapts according to who it is used on automatically is straight up OP. It'd have a pretty much 100% chance of succeeding...AND IT CAN BE HANDWAVED.

[quote=Rei Yakedo]Rei Yakedo is a very powerful genjutsu when used correctly - It forces the sensation of the opponent’s entire chakra and chakra system being burned into their mind.[/quote]
No real problems though that's some crazy shit haha.

[quote=Gōmon Weakness]Can be resisted if the victim is particularly strong-willed, [B]but not while Saimin Suimin is active.[/B][/quote]
The use of just that other genjutsu ontop of this means it cannot be resisted. Additionally, the jutsu itself is not very specific in how it tortures the mind or body, just that it does so...somehow.

[quote=Kyōzō]A second ability of the Kyōzō exists that does not require touch, and is a simple illusion that causes any pain/damage the user would take to appear have been taken by the enemy instead. Upon use of the illusion there is no cue and the victim cannot sense they are in illusion without a specific ability to do so. While under the Kyōzō, the victim cannot move or process thoughts outside of the illusion and any attack they believe they inflict within the illusion do not actually happen.[/quote]
Self explanatory.

[quote=Keikan Weakness]The user is able to, with their own volition, remove the crown and end the genjutsu at any time.[/quote]
Except it's incredibly unlikely that anyone would ever realize they were in the genjutsu due to Ra's aforementioned capabilities.

[quote=Setsuri no Hametsu]Additionally, Ra is also able to force the target’s body to move according to the plan while the genjutsu is in place should she desire.[/quote]
Sounds like an excuse to powerplay/puppet someone's character.

[quote=Zensekai Gensō]The illusion is completely infallible, and no doujutsu or illusion removal technique can pierce it while the victim is within the boundaries of the Tenkan no Inkan.

Weakness: Devastating chakra loss; bound to a very specific area.[/quote]

It's totally unavoidable and inescapable and its weakness is untrue due to the fact that the Tenkan no Inkan are placed by the user. As a note, I don't see that jutsu or item anywhere on the CS. What is this "Tenkan no Inkan," exactly?
---

[quote=Eien no Inkan]The Eien no Inkan allows the user complete control over their 5 senses.[/quote]
She could even make her senses stronger, with no ill effects to herself due to her veil and the modifiable nature of this technique. Oh yeah, and it's a third defense against genjutsu.

[quote=Shiketsutai no Inkan]A powerful and unique seal that prevents all passage of chakra across its boundary.

Weakness: The seal will only last for ten minutes unless placed on the body, where it will last for up to 48 hours.[/quote]
For some reason it lasts twice as long as is necessary to kill the person it is placed on not to mention it is capable of blocking all types of jutsu, including taijutsu. It makes Ra even more untouchable than she already was.

[quote=Jiryoku no Fū]When she focuses her chakra into it, it glows with a faint blue colour and the next object Ra touches with her left hand will be attracted to the seal on her palm.[/quote]
Not a problem on its own, but due to the fact that Ra is skilled at taijutsu, this means she can create a pull of unknown strength towards her once the seal is on you. Oh yeah and once you're within 20 ft she can handwave you into any of her genjutsu that are B rank and below. Or she can pull you into the "Tenkan no Inkan," and activate Zensekai Gensō. The seal is also attracted to the Sekiryoku no Fū in addition to the seal on her left hand. Aka, with both seals on you, she can double the pull or push of either technique. She can also attract or repel attacks to her.

[quote=Sekiryoku no Fū]When she focuses her chakra into it, it glows with a faint red colour and the next object Ra touches with her right hand will be repelled by the seal on her right hand.[/quote]
Not a problem on its own, but due to the fact that Ra is skilled at taijutsu, this means she can create a push of unknown strength towards her once the seal is on you. She could use this to push you into the "Tenkan no Inkan". The seal is also attracted to the Jiryoku no Fū in addition to the seal on her left hand. Aka, with both seals on you, she can double the pull or push of either technique. She can also attract or repel attacks to her.

[quote=Idōsō no Fū]Paralysis of a sort(paraphrased)[/quote]
No...real problems I suppose.

[quote=Chigoku Inkan: Kami no Sakura]A simple seal that stores another completed jutsu inside it.[/quote]
Allows her to store ninjutsu or other techniques she has captured via many different means, I imagine. She could even use her repel or attract seals to get the ninjutsu, IN BATTLE. Oh yeah, and she could use things like Idōsō no Fū immediately if she stored it in one of these.

[quote=Kyōsei Keiyaku Kuchiyose no Jutsu]Thusly, if the user acquires the blood of a victim they may summon the victim to them or they may reverse-summon themselves to the victim. This costs no more than a normal summoning jutsu and can be used anywhere, at any time. [/quote]
No. Why? Because it allows the user to do so much that's it's totally unreasonable to say yes. They can be handwaved into genjutsu, hit by a touch-based fuuinjutsu, etc etc.

[quote=Saiketsu Fū]A simple seal that is connected to the user’s bloodstream.[/quote]
Takes away the time that is used to break the skin for summoning. No real problem with that, but I thought I'd mention it.

-Consider the fact that the Zensekai Gensō allows Ra to put someone into any of her genjutsu no matter their rank onto someone as long as they're in its area of effect, which is vague, adjustable, and inescapable once you're in it.[/hider]