(For the record, you don't have to strictly list the equipment, if you need to add details or whatnot.)

I think the compromise suggested is pretty solid. 

Avoid the weapons/armor being military, unless he stole them (with an explanation). If he had to buy military gear (other than the armor with faulty rocket boosts), especially new and fully functional, I'd cut one or two of the other items and replace them with a different weapon/armor/item or a shoddy version of the same thing. He's probably better for cash than, say, a quarian used to being near broke the majority of the time, so I could see him getting a couple things from the black market after saving a lot of credits for 9 years (and saving more later).

And no thermal clips.

Otherwise you're pretty much set to get in. Just need to figure out when your turian gets thrown into things.