[quote=supertinyking]
When the soldier sees what happened, he shakes a bit, before yelling into the door "Sir, you are under arrest for tampering with imperial mail. Please either come with me, or pay a fine of 30 pounds." He says, still shaking.
[/quote]

"just be happy you're alive and report back to your commander that the mail was delivered" he says evenly as he reads, adding in after thought "now get the fuck off my porch"