We spend a lot of energy trying to convince each other that we're so cool and confident and in-control, but understand that having total control over who you are at all times is a nirvana-like aspiration that most of us have.

And developing that kind of control is pretty much the underpinning of every self-help book and concept out there.

I don't know what the solution is, but I do believe in maximizing the amount of time you spend around sources that compel you with confidence. I think what happens is that the confidence becomes part of you because you get used to it like a sense of healthy entitlement. And the more you can rally your own confidence means the less you need to borrow from others.