[quote=Simplicity]
Really :DThanks! I started role playing to get better at writing so thanks! Any constructive criticism or something I can improve on?
[/quote]

Not really, you have really good writing, but one thing I did notice is a small amount of misuse of the comma for lines like;

[quote=Simplicity]
 and most mindless, task.
[/quote]

Other than that, it's really good