*takes a deep breathe* Finally, something I can tear apart....

Let the games begin.

[quote]Name- TallyMark, sometimes calls himself Halindrix.[/quote]

What does that have to do with his sphere? Is he god of... what? Check lists? Record Keeping? Or for that matter, his second name? Wtf does that mean? Anything to do with the first? Just... two names? Alright then.

[quote]Coat/Eyes/Mane/Cutie Mark: A white alicorn with black tally marks burned into his body. He has empty eyes that feel like they stare into your soul. His mane is made of black flame that flickers and seems to have a mind of his own, and his tail is the same way. His cutie mark, if you could call it a 'cutie' mark, is a laughing skull with blood pouring out it's eyes.[/quote]

Right so... he's a zebra. So how many tally marks? 10? 20? A thousand? Do they have a purpose?

Empty eyes... and yet somehow able to stare into soul. So sorta like jumbo shrimp, eh?

Fire for tail and mane... despite no other alicorns having such traits...

Ah, the cliched "skull crying tears of blood"... because that has not been seen before! Also... you realize a laughing skull is just.... a skull with its mouth open, right? 

Right, so appearances alone Im gonna say he's the cliche mary-sue villain of the week. Lets see if I'm right!

[quote]Spheres of influence: Insanity, madness, shadow, deceit, Necromancy.[/quote]
Oh lookie! Five spheres of influence that have NOTHING to do with each other!!! I was right! 

[quote]Powers and abilities: 
Madness Incarnate: Being the closest thing to the physical representation of sheer insanity this universe has to offer, he has immense raw magical power as the more madness there is, the stronger he gets. He is feeding off the war to fuel his plans.
Necromantic Fiend: Due to his large use of necromancy and black magic, his mind has started to be plagued by visions of horrific fiends. This keeps him awake at all times, and has only increased his own insanity.
Light shapeshifter: His light control over minds allow him to change how he appears.
Master Necromancer: Most of his army is that of necrotic constructs and skeletal fiends. Sometimes deals in forbidden rituals to summon creatures from the Warped Dimension, a place where horrific beings of power and dark magics lurk.
Insanity Factor: The longer he is in combat, the stronger, tougher, and overall better in physical prowess he becomes.
Anger Factor: The more pain he is put under, the stronger his magical capability gets. 
Advanced Unicorn Magic: Can cast high level spells with ease. Just not ones that require true mastery.[/quote] 
Op... cliche... has nothing to do with his spheres... op... super op... op... he's a fucking Alicorn, I would certainly hope he could do the last one.

There's so many things wrong with his powers, all of which made him stupidly strong. KAP! Fetch me my bow!

[quote]Seat of Power: Resides in a vast cave system underneath the bottom of Ghastly Gorge.[/quote]
I hand you a map of Equestria, and you give him a trailer in the back of the 7/11.

[quote]Number of followers: [b]Barely any living ponies[/b] are stupid or insane enough to help him in his cause. But if i had to name a number, i'd say [b]650 living ponies[/b] currently serve him without question. They are his to control, no matter the command.[/quote]
Methinks you don't have any idea what 'barely' means.

[quote]His most loyal follower is a lich.[/quote]
Of course he is...

[quote]Name: Skazzaern
Age: 2046
Species: Lich, formally a Gryphon.
Appearance: A skeletal gryphon with glowing blue eyes.
Abilities: Raise Dead: Can raise scores of undead, whether it's ponies or a house cat, the magic will fill the corpse and put it under his control.
Laughing Skulls: throws screaming skulls that are engulfed in blue fire at the enemy. At contact with anything they explode. Violently
Fear Aura: any sensible mortal would run at the sight of this horror of magic.
Weakness: Has a ring on his left middle finger. If the ring is broken, he dies for good.
Strength: If he is destroyed, but the ring remains, his body reforms from thin air.[/quote] 

Right. So why was something as malignantly evil as a LICH able to survive this long in Equestria? Im pretty sure he would've been blasted by the Friendship Canon by now and working for Fluttershy if... wait. Brb. I have a new fanfic to write. Also, powers are op and for a character, the Lich concept is OP unless they're the BBEG.

[quote]Divine Blessing: Shadow Affinity: Allows the recipient to talk to shadows, and control them to a limit.[/quote]
I... had no idea shadow could be spoken too. Or were alive. Or had conscious thought! Or had ANYTHING to do with the powers of your god.

[quote]Purpose: To exact his revenge on all other alicorns for banishing him to the mortal realm. He also plans to steal the Elements of Harmony and then weaponize them into an alicorn killing superweapon, so he can obliterate this universe then piece it back together as he sees fit.[quote]

A masterful plan if I do say so myself. Quite good. And um... how exactly is this doomsday weaping going to work? And why haven't WE ever heard of such an Alicorn? I mean, we sealed him away. Am I suppose to go, "Ah! My evil brother who I have forgotten about until just now!" Also... we left him on the Mortal Plane? Fuck, I dont even need to be a god to know thats a horrible plan...

[quote]Divine Flaw: 
Triple Personality Syndrom: Has three split sides in his head. They are as goes:
Skizzerax:, The angry and uncontrollable. He will kill for pleasure and then eat the body. A frightening foe on the battlefield, but his blind anger can easily get him killed.
Halindrix: The calm and scheming. He takes a more political approach to his wants, and will bribe or even swoon his opponent to do his will.
TallyMark: The insane. Not much more I can say there.
The speed he changes between the three personalities depends on the amount of chaos in the land. Right now, it can be minutes or even seconds before he changes. Before the war, it would have taken months or even years. [/quote]

And thus the flaw which is really just another character trait reveals itself! So of COURSE this guy has to be three Alicorns in one. And no in way or sense in MPD actually like this, fyi...

[quote]God Complex: All the personalities believe themselves unable to lose any battle they choose to fight in personally. They also believe themselves better than all other beings in the realm. [/quote]

So what you're saying is... he'd lose the first time he came in combat with us. Because... y'know... not even the gods are immortal.

[quote]Decay: Due to his immense use of dark magics, his soul has started to fall apart and decay.[/quote]

Because the GOD of Dark Magics is not even immune to the corruption of Dark Magic... despite being designed by Faust to have exactly that sphere. Right... way to go, Faust. Brilliant design.

And then you're so all over the place with those units, I wont even address them...

*grins and knocks back his bow, a big heavy arrow loaded in it* Now explain to me why I shouldn't end your adventuring days here and now? This is a Gary-Stu if I ever saw one, and literally is the exact OPPOSITE of everything we asked for in the first post. The answer for this character is flatout No. So much so, that the only single redeeming factor of this guy was that he was an Alicorn and Male. Thats it.

No. Niet. Nein. And for good measure...

[youtube]2HJxya0CWco[/youtube]