If you have thin skin, are easily offended, or have insecurity issues, please stay the **** out of this thread! Thank you! •RULES• Try to exercise some common sense, but for those who need something more tangible, I have some basic ground rules. •1: Don't violate any of RP Guild's site Rules. •2: Try to keep it clean! Use your language sparingly, and don't go crazy on someone until you've battled them a few times and have a sense of their threshold for insults. We don't want literal battles here. It's a game where you invent stuff, not try to hurt people. •3: 6-8 Line Minimum for Battles. No 4-liners. •4: Battles will be arranged by challenges, or mutual agreements, and will be held 1 at a time. This means you cannot blindside Johnny with a rap without his agreeing to a Battle prior to, and a Host (just me for now) setting it up for you to make sure you're not cutting an active Battle. This also means yo cannot cut an active Battle by posting your own Battle spontaneously, unless you're positive no Battles are active at that time. •5: After a Battle begins, both parties will have 5 days to complete said Contest with [u]1 Rap Each[/u]. If for some reason, Both parties have not posted their Rap, that Battle will be postponed until the nearest available time. (This will encourage Battles to happen fairly quickly) •6: Once we get enough rappers posting, we'll start holding Tournaments. Battles in a Tournament will be decided by a Judge or panel of Judges. Just so you know I'm not some punk: [hider=Show]This is a debut rap from another site: It's the motha fuckin' debut... *John Doe*, this one's dedicated to you I'd dust off that dictionary if I were YOU Mic check, 1-2 1-2-3! 1-2-3! Caught your pupils lookin' at me Disciples of The One [i]they-call-OT[/I] ... Wild child since '85 A mild guy who's just [i]lookin' to get by[/I] But I'm a restless man, [i]I really can't lie[/I] I'll be a lone wolf [/i]til the day that I die[/I] But sometimes I cry and [i]I don't know why[/I] 'Cause tears feel dry [i]when they form in my eyes![/I] I've cried so much I could [i]fill the sky[/I] And block out the sun Let the shadows erase all the shit that I've done 'Cause life ain't fun [i]when you're on the run[/I] Steady under the gun But I guess that's the life of an [i]Outlaw[/I], son Haha! I'm back The Undisputed Rap Battle Overlord [I]So put your pride aside boy and climb aboard![/I] Attention Please! Attention Please! [b]Put the Mic down and step away from the keys[/b] No, seriously... Your raps look-taste and smell like moldy cheese Steppin' to you should literally be a breeze Now I'll admit, some of you got flow I'd keep my day job if I were you though [b]Hello![/b] I finally hit the scene Couple more verses man you'll know what I mean I come out swingin' like a young Mike Tyson Clean punks up like a brand new Dyson Look man, I think this is a sign [I]"Write some better lines when ya post here next time!"[/I] Ah man, oh no, wait I think it's too late My raps flow with the goal to annihilate Circumventilate This is dire, Mate I spit flows that glow and grow til they gravitate Mastermind rhymes that'll devastate Make your mouth start to salivate Elevate the mic to a higher state You can call me Lord Torn The Great Inebriate the masses as we lift our glasses Filled to the rim with my funky hymns Overload the mic with my rhymes so tight Mmm! So tight! I hit it just right I'm talkin' about rhymes Tisk, tisk, you perverted minds 'See rap to me is like ridin' a bike I transcend the mic til you be soundin' like tikes Your flow's ice cold kid, so take a hike It's a new Regime, a funky-fresh  Rappin' Reich But I ain't spittin' in German Lines written shall determine Who among you shall be burnin' Straight to poetry you'll be turnin' A style like mine you'll be yearnin' 'Cause spittin' 4 poor lines is a crime against the spoken rhyme So that Belt that ya felt should be yours, well it's mine! I spit flows [I]oh so Divine![/I] 'Cause I'm the Rap Battle Champ So run along now, Skamp Your mere presence gives my style the cramps I wanna show you how it's done Spit hot shit like the risin' sun But it gets real messy when I ain't havin' fun I might get banned if I pull out the big guns So this here rap is a real subdued one Spit just for you  Aww, you're [i]just so cute![/I] I could pinch those cheeks... In about 18 years and some-odd weeks That means you're a baby to me A clone barely grown and yet unshown The ways of the rhyme but you'll learn in time Just study my lines and you'll do just fine Goddamn man, I did it again Bent the Cosmos with the tip of a pen I'm outta control, I'm tearin' shit up [i]I'm burrowing a hole in your brain like a bug[/I] Someone unplug the mic before feelings get hurt tonight It's such a sad yet spectacular sight 'Cause I'm trouble on the mic So quit if ya like 'Cause these people gonna love me by the end of the night! Me not rappin' at 100% is for your protection, not mine So who's the next in line? And this is something written off the dome in response to a particularly belligerent rapper from another site: Now who be the host wit the most to boast? Post-traumatic roast and a toast to your ghost! 'Cause [b]I be[/b] The One spittin' coast-to-coast I drink to your bones as your spirit moans Groans and phones home to atone for the rhymes you've shown Apologize for the lies these guys have known I spit lines you couldn't design through your entire life-time! I've been crowned as a hound for the sound of a bass pound to the ground Known around town just for rushin' the mound Wit the Philly Shell D. you can tell who the hell rung your bell Came through to quell, a new slew 'a Bullshit raps you and your crew would do well not to sell where I dwell 'Cause I'm a dark horse sprung from a dead-end course to divorce from despair and become a new force, A whole new monster! Blades swing for brain like a chopper! I told you not to test me... But [i]oh so sure[/i] you could best me! Your tyranny? Oh, the irony! I'll put you down, louse wit a fuckin' roundhouse! I'm a lion, you're a mouse Little bitch without a spouse [b]Bitch faggot... this is my house![/b] "My name is Kodiak A. Sayre" [i]-_- Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Player[/i] You're a stone-cold killer pressed layer by layer The Fabled disabled Rap Battle Slayer The spoon-fed Special Ed. Mayor Suburban expansion from your Brick Mansion Lair! Haha!! [b]If[/b] you had a queen She'd pro'ly be thirteen Lookin' real mean A mail-order bride But the website lied 'Cause she's a fat ugly whore Who doesn't do chores And that slut's dick man, it's bigger than yours! What? Finally cum? What are you dumb? Broadcastin' your virginity Reenforcing my Divinity With your lyrical obscenity And general stupidity? Recognize my validity! And [b]don't ever[/b] try to step to me! You're just another casualty You'll realize this gradually Your life is but a frailty This is just reality I embody pure totality So come and swear your loyalty I'll give you a tiny royalty Since I hold the fuckin' Monopoly [i]Only in your dreams[/i] could you topple me Wet dream? Probably! You need a few lobotomies [i]To cure that obsession with [b]homosexual sodomy![/b][/i] ... How did you expect this to go? You don't even know your lingo, bro You flow kinda like a throw to the Andy Griffith Show I think you might be slow For real, though Ask around, these people gotta know They've been gagin' through your raps for 63 pages in a row!! I think they've earned a break now, No? I ain't never met a crew like you  who can do  what you do  how you do  when you do  what it is that you do Nobody's got a clue No not even Blue My friend you're gonna rue The day I came through I tell you this is true So witout further a due Let me bring it to you OT & Kodiak, Round number Two! -Tosses mic to *John Doe*- [/hider] That's about it. And don't bother challenging me. I'm not rapping until the first Tournie, at least. Let's kick things off with a freestyle session, to let everyone post in and get loosened up.