[center][u][i] - Lily - [/u][/i][/center]

She turned around and leaned up, looking at Carmen. Her eyes were soft and a small warm smile was creeping onto her face. She felt.. like crying. She jumped up and toppled Carmen, putting her arms around the girl. 

[b]"Thank you..."[/b] She mumbled into Carmen's shoulder, tears threatening. It was the first time in a very long time that anyone had been genuinely interested in her problems. She'd always been shoved to the side or forgotten. The lonely hero. For once someone was recognizing her. 

She pulled away and sat up next to Carmen, looking at her. [b]"I don't know what the books say... I just... go with my gut, I guess. You seemed like someone I could confide in. I mean... Matt is an old friend but.. I don't think he'd understand my problems and everyone else on this island has pretty much ignored me."[/b] She explained, feeling her stomach churn. She lifted her hand to her neck and felt for the ring. 

[b]"Even at my previous academy, no one really cared that I was dead and gone. They thought I was dead and when I went back... no one cared to see that it was me. And even if they did, it would just turn into a problem for them..."[/b] She explained, feeling a bit sorry for herself. But she was entitled, right? She'd spent so many years with all of this stuff bottled in and now there was a person sitting right next to her, willing to listen to it all. 

She swallowed back her tears and continued, [b]"When I was still alive, as a little girl in London, I grew up with a friend. His named was Xanthus. My parents thought I was crazy but he was like a brother to me. One day, at my old school, he came back but I didn't recognize him. Eventually, everything got sorted out and Mom came to save the day... I remembered him and suddenly it was like everything had come together. We were inseparable."[/b] 

She took in a deep breath. [b]"Or so I thought. One day, I found out about a lot of things that were going on around me. Lucifer, my parent, my own memories, everything. Well, Lucifer came to me in a dream. He told me he would destroy my friends and my loved ones if I didn't do as he asked. So... I prepared myself and made way for Heaven. They captured me, of course but what I didn't expect was them killing Xanthus. When I came back, I was broken. I hadn't realized how much I needed him. How much of my time I'd spent with him. He was my everything and I didn't even realize it until then."[/b] She told her story, her eyes staring down at the floor, her hand on the ring at her neck.

[b]"I spent so much time in our room, staring at his things, trying to figure out what to do. Eventually, a friend came in and decided to try and help me by burning all of his things. I was furious. I kicked her out and then went in search of anything untouched. What I found sent me into another whirl of emotions. There was a letter and a ring."[/b] She began, swallowing to gather her courage and keep her tears at bay.

[b]"The letter was Xanthus' rough draft to me, asking me to marry him. I... I still have the ring."[/b] She said, pulling out the ring from under her shirt. It was attached to a string around her neck. On the inside of the ring X & L were etched. [b]"It broke my heart. And then he came back but he wasn't the same. He didn't look or feel the same. I knew it was him but there was another soul in there with him. Another person. I couldn't do that to them. I just... couldn't. So I left. I found my own way. I destroyed Lucifer and gained new life in the process."[/b] She continued, letting the ring fall against her chest.

[b]"I got my grace back because as you said the human world is boring..."[/b] She explained. 

[i]And brutal...[/i]

[b]"But now, I see him again and in his old body just older. It's like seeing something out of a dream but I don't know if it's one of those good dreams that goes from being great one second to being terrible the next. I've had so many dreams where I see him so happy and then he just looks dead and he's screaming at me. I've woken up so many nights in a cold sweat because of him. I don't know what to do... I don't even know where to begin..."[/b] She finished, holding her hands in her lap nervously. She closed her eyes as drops of water splashed onto her hands, her tears.