Alright Rare, this is shaping up to be quite an interesting organisation.

There are a few issues, but don't worry its nothing major.
First up, while you can own territory on Omega, and to a lesser extent on Illium, you cannot on the Citadel. You're welcome to keep all the other things on the citadel - bars, nightclubs, businesses and such, you just cant own territory. Muscling C-sec out of their jurisdiction is something for the big three, and even they'll have a hard time of it.

Secondly, I'd like you to list the species tow hich the military ships belong, as it gives an indication of their capabilities and design purpose (helps me work out battles and such).

Finally, a heads up, you do own a lot of territory (which is fine) but you'll need to defend all of it from the NPC factions too, and also the number of things you have makes it a slightly higher chance you'll suffer random mishaps. This is not a bad thing, and I don't want you to change it because of that, I'm just giving you a heads up for possible things that'll happen in game.