"Sir, are you just fucking with me or what? Because, that is the dumbest story I have heard in awhile. 'A mother, uncle, sister, cat fucking golf club' what was that about? Sorry, that was rude, but I had to laugh at the crappy story. "I'm Officer Earles. What are you guy's names?".

“Crappy story!?” Conell yelled, throwing his arms up in the air and grabbing his short hair, exhaling sharply before starting off again. 

“Listen. The golf club didn't really fuck anybody, it wasn't exactly it's choice, but the man who wielded it used it to try and fuck me! You get it! He swung it at my head! He tried to split my melon! Splinter my wood! Burst my bubble! Crack my safe! Give me a permanent anti-depressant to the side of my damn head! He tried to fuck my head open with a nine iron! It's not a damn story, it's a tale of true events! Recent events! … Fuck it... Never mind.” 

“I'm Conell. A real pleasure.” Conell spoke, zoning out and shaking his head in disbelief. This is why he had spent most of his life attacking screws.