It seems I've stumbled across someone as outwardly pretentious as I am inwardly! You'll notice I'm blatantly casual: it's a "luring you into a false sense of confidence" trick. They never suspect the innocent face (and they never check my luggage; I once accidentally flew cross-country with a switchblade in my backpack, and no one noticed). But don't be fooled: I'm a writer. I write. I do it well. And I'm totally a grammar.... Well, I'm a senior editor at a magazine.

Throw me a plot! I'm looking for humor and high-stakes adventure, am low-maintenance and wonderfully twisted when it comes to creating impossible situations. Pirates are my specialty, but I'm currently working on some space pirates mumbo-jumbo, and would love to take a break by being, oh, I don't know, a lady knight? A lady knight from another planet? A teenage boy? A fish? Ja'afa?

Message me. Let's smoke our pipe tobacco and be literary elites together.

Bonus points if we can find a mutual fandom.