Penny feels herself running out of steam as far as her anger is concerned.
Sometimes she wishes she could actually learn to be cruel, to be brutal but she couldn't be that way any more than her mom could have.
Having such thoughts made Penny Melancholy and she had to fight not to scream or break down into tears.
They didn't know her here and she was unsure that she wanted any of these people to know the real her.
[B]"The human animal is a social creature like apes, monkeys or dogs and when you deprive any of them from normal socialized contact with others they develop aberrant personality traits.
Am I actually losing my grasp of who I am or am I confusing myself with my defensive self?[/B] says Penny to herself. She's aware that talking to her self is a potential warning that all that was done to her at the asylum may have damaged her.
So as she waits for something to do Penny dose a self assessment to assure that she is still operating within social parameters she always holds as normal.