"My name translates to space whale diarrhea," Iral said, half laughing with his head leaning back so that he was staring at the ceiling. "Wonderful," he continued, as though speaking to a higher being. He began to cringe upon hearing what the literal translation to his name was. "The one who dances beneath the...man I've never heard of a girlier name. Maybe 'Tinker Bell' would suit you," he said with a sigh. He despised the fact that Jupiter changed his name to conform, but with the problem of not speaking the same language and a translator that butchers names, there wasn't all that much anybody could do. Surely he wasn't going to learn his language or him learn his. None of this even matters: space whales exist and my name translates to refer to their feces, Iral thought, as though he had come to a devastating revelation.

"No, man, what's your problem? You don't want to be called 'Tinker Bell'. We refer to people in that way because we think they're cowards. Why are you so quick to change your name?" he said in frustration. He sighed again. "There's no way to change the settings on that crap to make it so that it ignores our names? Names have meaning, but you're not supposed to translate them. They're... they're names. They transcend language. Don't your kind take any pride in their names? Do you not live with those names for the rest of your lives? Where I'm from, no two people have the same name on the entire planet. This is not to say that we all think we're special, it is just accepting the fact that no two beings are the same, no matter the circumstances. My people are extremely in-tune with our life energy and we all inherit the ability to detect and feel the presence of others. No two presences are the same. And when a new presence is born and their parents feel it for the first time, they spend a lot of time giving that presence a name. Most of us derive names from our ancient language that was abandoned over the course of our evolution. 'Iral' is derived from a word that used to mean 'distant'. 'Phos' from a name that used to mean 'promise'." Iral shrugged. "Who knows? But that's my name. I don't know why I just told you all that. Wait, yes I do. I asked you your name and you told me something that some cunts call you that you decided to roll with. Then you want to let me call you 'Tinker Bell'. Do your people even refer to your planet as 'Jupiter'? Do you know who Jupiter actually is? He's a fictional character some ancient people of Terrans, called Romans, invented because they didn't understand why their planet fucking rains. And do you know who Romans are? A bunch of idiots and cowards. They fought with sticks and stones so that they could get more sticks and stones. And they had the audacity to name your planet when they couldn't ever hope of getting to or living on. If you can remove or turn off that damn translator for two seconds then allow me to hear your real name because I'm not fighting with somebody I don't know."