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[I]FALCONS FANS RUNNING WILD – VANDALISM RAMPANT NATIONWIDE IN A “GOOD SPOT OF FUN”

With the recent announcement of the English lineup for the 2002 Quidditch World Cup, a few enthusiastic fans have been leaving the Falcons logo emblazoned across the country. Efforts to stop the tomfoolery have been ineffective at best, with officials from the Department of Magical Games Fair Play Division desperately trying to keep up with the Falcon’s hooligans. Fair Play officials are presently trying to remove no less than six painted falcons defecating upon rival team’s stadiums across the country.

“It’s been a right nightmare,” claims Fair Play Enforcer Dennis Creevey, “We’ve got Enforcers working overtime to try and get the stadiums cleaned up. I’m sure the gits responsible think the stinging hexes were clever, but they are really quite unappreciated.”

The Prides have been calling for fines to be levied against the Falmouth Falcons, a cry which has been echoed by eight other teams in the British-Irish League in the past three days. A spokesman from the Department of Magical Games Regulatory Commission has refused to comment on the pending investigation.

The Falcons, for their part, have reacted to the vandalism with fiendish glee. “It’s a good spot of fun is all,” says Chaser Katie Bell, whose recent appointment to the English team sparked this recent bout of defacement, “No one’s even been maimed.”

Bell, famous for having racked up a record number of fouls in the 2001 semi-finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes, has promised to bring the Falmouth spirit to the English team. In an official statement, Katie Bell assured her fanbase that, despite pressure from the International Quidditch Commission, she has no intent of holding back from her famously violent style. 

A petition has surfaced recently calling for the removal of Bell from the team, but the English team has yet to release an official statement on the controversial selection.[/i]
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