Guys! GUYS! THIS! This is a thing!

[url=https://www.boneroom.com/welcome.aspx?c=1863&n=DisarticulatedHumanSkeletons]Real Human Skeletons! For Sale![/url]

They're like, $6,000!

I want one! I could assemble him over the summer, and add little hinges to give the joints strength.

I would name him Jim-bones, you see, and we'd be the best of friends. I could talk to him while I do homework, and dress him in fancy hats, and tell him secrets, and he'd never, ever judge me or think I was weird for owning a human skeleton. I could get a sidecar for my Harley, and he'd ride along with me, dressed in goggles and an old aviator helmet, and a scarf.

He'd insist on the scarf, because while Jim-bones may be dead, his sense of class certainly isn't!

Oh, what adventures we would have...