"Oh!" Richard called down the stairs as Adelfonsus made his leave, "No hug for me, I see! Night got too awkward?" He laughed to himself as River followed him, both heading to the same common room. Richard crossed the room again to turn the portrait back, so Cae wouldn't know someone had been peeking. Both eyes were open again, and Paint Richard was sitting back with a smug look. "Fuck you," real Richard said, turning him back to face the wall. "You're not even real." 

~~~

He woke up better rested than he had expected and walked across to the Main Hall to look over Addie's shoulder, standing intentionally too close, and whispered in his ear, "That will never work. Tell your mom that we're a polyamorous triple." 

He sat down next to Addie and immediately snatched up some biscuits and started ladling gravy. He started eating as Fonsus spoke. Richard sighed, "If I let her know about it now, my mom will pretend she's upset that I'm not around for Christmas, but she'll really be happy to cut back on holiday expenses."