[Keiichi Maebara, Group A, Infirmary, Second floor main building]

Keiichi sputtered and spat, coughed and hacked as he massaged his throat. "Gurgle gurgle gurgle" indeed. That woman could choke. Anyway, what exactly was going on? 

First off, he was wrong. He was apparently with Shion rather than Mion. That was a shame, but nothing too major. 

Second, he ought not scare people apparently. Now that's just wrong. 

Third, he needed to get towels or water or something to put out a fire they were apparently about to light on a giant hair monster that seemed to be sucking the life out of someone he'd never seen before.

Fourth, [i]did[/i] Rika ever teach him to dispel spirits? It was possible, but he didn't seem to remember.

[i]'Wait.

'Giant hair monster that seemed to be sucking the life out of someone I've never seen before? What the hell is going on?'[/i]

It was at that moment that Keiichi realized exactly why Shion had asked him if Rika had ever taught him to dispel spirits. Err. Errrrrr. "W-well, shrine maidens wear red hakama and I think the color red may have to do with it, maybe. I think I read that somewhere. Oh, and there's always salt! That works, I think. Throwing salt on them. Talismans, too, but I wouldn't know what to write on one...Where's Rika when you need her?"

Keiichi gulped. He still had no idea what the hell was going on. Wait, what about salt-water? That's both the salt to drive off the demon, and the water to put out the fire. And wasn't it saltwater that they used to clean off that stink spirit in that one movie? Or was it something else? No wait, that didn't come out until 2001. How'd Keiichi know about it? Either way, that's off-topic. What mattered now was his ingenious saltwater plan.

No, wait.

That was a dumb idea.

And he [i]still[/i] had no idea what the hell was going on.

"Oh and by the way, Shion, what the hell is going on?"