He killed [i]1000[/i] guys with an ass jaw. I'm drawing blanks as to what effect it would have as an NP, but it could work as a normal weapon.

Speaking of NP's, perhaps you could NP-ify his whole 'pray to God for a badass last stand' thing?

Invoke YHWH to get hair back, boost STR to EX (and all other physical stats +1), blind him, and give him Magic Resistance A (because enough piety can get Magic Resist if Jeanne is anything to go by but then again she was a Saber/Ruler) and Battle Continuation A (because tell me it wouldn't make sense). Make it guzzle a ton of prana and/or once the battle's done/X [b]very[/b] short amount of time, automatic dead Samson. And you can't deactivate the Noble Phantasm or anything. Once you last stand there's no going back.

I would like to take this moment to say that I am not inebriated in any way.

It might be too OP for the RP and/or justified stupidly, but it's the first potential example of something like that that came to mind *shrug* But anyway, in that case, that whole bit could be a sub-technique of the God's Mercy NP, while the main function would just be the basic 'gets lots of STR with hair, loses lots without' with no other side effects. 

Oh, and I imagine Nazarite Promise could be implemented into the general 'hair = STR' Noble Phantasm. Frees up some slots for you. As for the Skills themselves, there's the religion-based ones (Protection of the Faith, Soul of a Martyr), but I don't know if those are cancelled by ME.

EDIT: Are the stats in the sheet pre or post Mad Enhancement? If ME has yet to be applied, B AGI is faster than half of the enemy Servants here and the ones faster than that need to get in close to attack, which would make them face off against A++ STR, A+ END, and A++ LCK
----
EDIT2: Just in case anyone needed it.

Saber - Rin's WIP Master
Lancer - Hanako
Assassin - Chieko
Archer - Hakuno(?)

Unclaimed - Caster, Rider, Berserker
Undecided - Johnathan, James, Misaki