[quote=Lucius Cypher]
You are a potato, baked to achieve the perfect balance of crispy and chewy. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, for I am the chef, he who has decided your fate, and have thus split you unto twain, and wrapped you in a foil of tin and inserted you into the fires of my furnace. But that will not be your end; oh no. After I slather my holy butter onto your body, you will be dosed in the remains of the long pork, fried in the hellish inferno. And your fate will end within my bowels after I consume you, body and soul, mind and spirit, and excrete you into the fertile grounds of new potatoes, whom will share your fate from here to the end of existence itself.
[/quote]

. . . Whaaaat