[quote=ThreeDawgFO3]
Could I get some constructive criticism on that post? It's my first real forum based RP attempt
[/quote]

Hi buddy, just read your post. It's actually very good! There wasn't anything I disliked, and your first paragraph was enjoyable to read. If that's your first forum post, you'll be fine. Being active on here will increase your writing skills and will grow exponentially, so I really wouldn't worry. There's just a few things, like if you're saying something and say 'he said' after, finish the dialogue with a comma and continue the rest of the sentence on as a whole. But other than that, it's all good as far as I can see.