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“Come on Addie, don’t be such a scaredy-cat.” I hear Emily’s voice from across the room as she sits on her bed and swings her legs idly. It is something she would normally say but the tone is different and less snarky than normal. But even snark free I can’t just let that go.

“I’m not a scaredy-cat. I just.” I rock back and forth on my bed, my arms wrapped around an old pillow from home, my hair a tangled blonde mess, and my face streaked from crying before. My phone sits next to me, on the freshly made covers and sheets that we had just put back on the bed earlier this afternoon. “I just can’t do it.” I know I’m being a coward in truth. But I don’t think I can take it if he picks up and turns me away now. Not after what happened to… No! I shove the images away before they can form. “What if he doesn’t want to listen? I can’t take that.”

“Addie, you left for a week after your Mom was murdered.” Emily’s voice is supportive and I can hear the concern. It helps at least a little bit. But there no good cure for pain in the heart. “He’ll understand.”

“But what if he…”

“Trust me” She cuts my worried question off before I can finish. “You’re the one in the relationship so I’m the one who gets to see without the glasses. He’s crazy about you Addie. Now pick up that phone or I’ll do it for you and pretend you’re sending drunk messages.” I see her stick out her tongue and fall back into an old tease and for a moment I laugh like I used to.

“Alright.” I finally find myself saying and I take a deep breath to compose myself before I pick up the phone. I scroll down my contacts list and with another deep breath I press the green button that says call. As the phone rings my nervousness grows but there is no answer and it goes to voicemail.

Well here it goes, I think to myself and then speak. "Hi Kyle. It's me." I pause and my nerves eat at me a bit. I had not planned to vanish like I did and I know people don't take it well. Hell I wouldn't... Focus Adeline, you need to finish the message. "I'm sorry I vanished like this. It's" My voice breaks down as a flood of emotions sweep through me. "It's my mom. She died and it wasn't normal."

 My mind is filled with images of the room I had been shown. It was almost like a scene from my dreams, blood and gore streaked all over. I push it down because there is time enough for it later but my eyes have already started to leak again. "I've moved back in with Emily so if you want to come by that would be wonderful. I understand if you don't though. Hope to see you." I try to sound cheerful as I finish the message but it is hard when there is a hole inside and you are already haunted.

I look across at Emily again and she gives me a pair of thumbs up and a smile. But I don’t feel any better as I lay down and try to sleep. Maybe tonight I can have the gift of oblivion I am denied so often. But sleep does not want to come and my mind races with fevered visions and images. I feel more than see the presence by my bed as arms wrap around me in a hug. 

“It’ll be okay Addie.” I hear her voice say and I finally start to relax into sleep.