I'm really sorry. I'm just having a mental break down. Okay? So I'm going to take a break from role playing, so it can be one less anxiety. I love the rps and everything, but I feel like I can't do anything justice and I keep having to make people wait and that's not fair. I have legit reasons, but there are too many of them piling up. Illness, family drama, you name it. It's one thing after another. But mostly, it's just me. I'm just really sick. Deep down.

So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.

I'm guessing this RP will need to be put on hold as well since it is such a small group. Or you guys can go on without me. I'd understand. (By this I mean someone taking over as the temporary GM and playing Nixie until I come back or if that is not your style, feel free to adapt the idea and make a new RP. Just don't copy paste from my OOC.)

I'm sorry.

I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.

I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)

When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.