For some reason the above post isn't being shown so here's another and I'll edit whichever soon

Now for the CS stuff!

Sorry if I rambled, I kind of did this in one sitting with me needing to eat dinner...so yeah....

[b]@Rayn Night:[/b] I don't think "Leaderly" is a word, you probably mean "Leader" or "Takes Command" etc. Since he's sophisticated and dedicated, I find it a bit sudden to then say he doesn't act with honor. Blunt honesty and cruelty I can shrug and nod along with but is there a reason as to why he lacks honor? (Poor Eddard Stark, every man must have HONOR! I couldn't help myself...)

Since many of his spells deal with calling upon spirits, is it possible he's more of a monk (not the term I'm looking for but I can't think of the other word) or some sort of spiritual person? Anyhow, just some clarification needed and I think you're okay.

[b]@Essence:[/b] Let's see here...

The idea that a liar can be honorable is a stretch, in my mind. I'm curious though, as to seeing it in action. So I'll let that slide because hey, charmers gonna charm.

I am a lil hesitant to have your character in possession of a shard at the start (but hey he got consequences prior to a lovely offer) but as long as you know he won't keep it in the end (at least at the start, I have NO idea how this will pan out, if the gems will even be fully restored, etc). I'll probably let any person "keep" a shard on them, should they find it and get it back, as they are representing their homeland, though shards won't work differently for different people. It won't give "more" luck to others so to say that Oliver (I'll either think of that Disney movie or Richard Hammond's cute lil car) "it seemed that no one else could use it with quite the proficiency that 'Live did" so that bit is kind of a bit...*waves hand a little* unnecessary I say.

He's also a bit young to know five kickass spells. I'd say knock it down to three, keep his signature one and probably two others but what he has so far is a bit much for a 25 year old chap who steals to get by (how much time can a thief have on his hands if he's always looking over his shoulder?).

Other than some small tweaks...you could be approved.

[b]@Oblivion:[/b] Lazy and adventurous can kind of contradict each other, is there an instance where one would rule over the other...?

Some complex spells for someone so young, I'd say knock them down to three of your choosing?

Not much else concerns me, which is good. I think. 

[b]@Clumsywordsmith:[/b] Oh I had no idea I was even looking at a CS to be honest, this could have used some coding to break it up or a hider or something, it just seemed like a mess but hey, I'm nearly blind so maybe it's just me. ^^;

Now then...

Being a very visual person (and as a GM who makes graphics for her RPs) I'd hope you could find a picture of your character, a description is great but it pretty much comes in the RP itself so if you found a picture of at least his profile, that would be a big help to just get a sense of everything.

Though damn, nicely written piece when it came to their origin. Nice prose with the spells too.

Though just to clarify that my understanding is solid, his defensive mind (getting really lazy as I wrap these up, sorry) is mostly a mental trick to make his enemies think they're being controlled/pulled in odd ways?

His healing method, is it pretty much meditation? How does it heal or differ from someone doing it without magic intent?

I would then say that his first "offensive" skill may need to be held off until we make some more progress, like the others I don't think knowing more than three ish skills if you're 25 is fair. And with the final one, which I assume you should keep over the other, is that it provides internal clarity and sound-mind but what does it do about physical attacks? Its name suggests something chaotic and crazy like where he grew up and trained (which is badass) but you can give him a bit more grit if you'd like.

Just some thoughts.

[b]@Everyone else:[/b] Okay so I think I have some people on the cusp of acceptance, two accepted. No one totally banished from this thread which is good (for now...). I need to tally up a quick cheat sheet of who is who and then I'll make my own roles and see what needs attention. I likely will be playing 2-3 roles. One of which will be the sort of scholar/neutral party who will be my tool to give information and guidance while the other(s) will be normal players who aren't much special. 

Questions or stuff like that, say it now. *waves hand* I'm ready to get this up, like ya'll are.