Maki, these are the impressions we got on reading your character. We'll try to not make them seem to harsh but it may not seem that way all the time. Know that we don't mean anything bad about you, no matter what we say below. Our intent is to be constructive in the criticism. [b]Image: [/b]Even if it takes time, there are more than enough images out there that can fit a setting like this so you won't have to use a photo of someone in completely different clothes. We understand you like the person shown in the image, but there's so many wonderful characters out there. We'd recommend browsing DeviantArt or sites like that to find the gems hidden among the junk. Going from the description of the clothes, you can probably find something roughly similar to that. [b]Relic: [/b]Power makes sense, but the fact that there's two parts kinda contradicts with all the other relics so far. Also, earrings on a male character feels kinda wrong to us. It doesn't really fit with the sort of setting we're in. thats what it feels like to us. Also, considering the fact that moving a relic far from its evoker is lethal to the evoker, having earrings, who are rather exposed, is rather risky. [b]Lore: [/b]You've not really used much lore established by others yet. You make mentions of the hills of Ovesh, who are far, far west of where everyone else is. Not bad in itself this, but we'd suggest working on making it mesh well with others' lore. [indent] [b]Blindness: [/b]Quite inspired flaw, but the reason for it doesn't make sense. Slavers would have no trouble handling an 11-year old boy, no matter how wild he is. Gouging out the eyes would make his value as a slave drop dramatically. If someone is too wild to control normally, blindfolding and hogtying is a reasonable attempt to control. Pain is also a teacher slavers are fond of. If nothing else, they would probably have cages they can use. A few days in a cage, and even the wildest prisoner will be more docile, even if it is just because of burgeoning starvation. [b]Treatment by the slavers: [/b]In an era like this, especially to slavers, "pretty boys" and such are just another commodity. Still, being called such is still nothing compared to being a slave. Also, slavers would remove any property he has, especially ornaments. Even if ornaments are cheap junk, they can still be sold. a skilled swindler, could probably get much more than what they're worth for them. Besides, slavers generally won't know how to judge the value of ornaments, its the value of living flesh they can judge easily. Any reminders of home, of hope, are natural to tear away. One more thing: only stupid slavers starve or abuse their merchandise. A malnourished, starving slave fetches a much poorer price than a healthy slave. Same goes for injured vs. healthy slave. Plain logic. [b]The rescue: [/b]Bandits, unless they're really strange, wouldn't take compassion on someone almost guaranteed to die, someone who would not be of much use to them. Unless the pickings in their territory are extremely good, they wouldn't normally afford to have an extra drain on their resources. Also, why would they raid a slaver caravan? Such a caravan, when it has merchandise, probably doesn't have much worth stealing (other than the slaves). We would recommend making up a plausible reason here. How did they discover his "astounding echolocation skills"? Training someone who is blind in archery doesn't really make sense. Archery is a skill that works best at greater distances, where sound no longer provides much aid through echolocation. Throwing knives, on the other hand, that can make more sense. Is he reliant on the sounds made by others, or does he have some sort of ability to produce "pings" of his own? [b]belonging to the clan: [/b]Why would he not feel like he belongs? Ten years in the same place, especially the ten years from eleven to twenty-one, are important to shaping who someone is. He might have some memories from before his capture, but after ten years they won't be what he focuses on any longer. [/indent] There are also some minor lingual oddities in there, but we don't see any reason to point out such unless requested. If we'd held everyone else to the standards of language we hold ourselves to, we would end up with far too few people to RP with. Content matters more than wrapping, so long as basic grammar is there. We see considerable potential for making this character much better, but right now we can't really see this as a good character. Fix at least a few of those things mentioned above, and you'll be well on your way to a good character that should fit perfectly into this RP. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them.