I'm just a barber! I cut hair, shave the face, pull teeth, amputate limbs and other assorted things! 

But I have not once killed man through shaving! How dare you accuse me!

Just come to my shop and I'll give you [i]the closest shave I've ever gave...[/i]

*Menancingly sharpens straight razor on strop, while humming a merry tune*