I had to laugh reading the plot of The Enemy Of My Enemy Is A Dick, very different for sure. And the one I would be interested in.

I have to agree with a lot of what you have placed in your post. Instant love or soul mates just add water is annoying as hell. Everything wrapped around the bedroom. Boring. Reading a post five hundred times and still scratching the head unable to understand the misspelling and badly placed words. My scalp need medical attention.

I am not sure I would live up to your standards of writing. Thus I will add a writing sample so you can experience my style of writing.
[hider=Hell has been redecorated]

Xavier sat dark cowboy hat on his head covering his short copped brown hair, he glanced about the hotel room one last time. He was eager to put this fast pace city behind him and return to the sanity of Minnesota. The two night stay had been his sister’s dream, not his. Instead of allowing the prize to go unused, Betty talked him into using the tickets with the promise he would buy the items on a detailed list. He had sent them the mail yesterday not wanting to deal with airport security over a few knickknacks. 

His boot heels clicked against the elevator floor and he pushed the lobby button when 'The Cowboy Logic' song from Michael Martin Murphy began to play. He wiggled his cell phone out of the inside pocket and smiled at the name on it. “Howdy,” he said a smile creeping over his freshly shaven face. 

“I hope you enjoyed my prize,” Betty said.

“I reckon I did,” he answered with a chuckle adjusting the strap to his backpack on his shoulder. “Not liking the big city. You can have it.”

Betty giggled. “You were able to get all that stuff?”

“On the way to you by mail, thought it would be safer.”

“You crazy coot,” she said, shaking her head at him. He was a strange one about the airports, always afraid they will think he was a terrorist. “Thank you. I’ll see you when you get back. You have to sign my cast you know.”

“Plan to,” he answered leaning on the wall watching the numbers on the blink as the car descended. He felt tired, it was hard to sleep in a strange bed, he was eager to return home, ride his horse and breath fresh air. The constant noise and lights flashing didn’t help matters much, even with the drapes closed. Car alarms and police sirens, voices in the hallway at all hours of the night were beyond annoying. “I’ll put something real nice on it, like almost got raped in NY or something to that effect.”

“Don’t you dare, I’ll poke your eyes out.”

“Gotta catch me first,” he declared, playfully. “I reckon I better be off, need to catch my flight. It will take me two hours just to get to the airport in this jungle. I swear riding a horse would be faster in this bee hive.”

“Well, good luck. Don’t get raped or mugged. I’ll see you when you get back,” she paused. “X, I love you. I don’t know why but I really need you to know that.”

“I love you too, Sis,” Xavier said a strange twinge in his heart caused him pause. “Give my love to everyone. Don’t you worry about me none, this old cowboy has a few tricks up his sleeve. I can take real good of myself.”

“I know,” she whispered picking at the edges of her cast. “Just be extra careful.”

“You know I will,” he said, static burst into his ear and the connection was dropped. He slipped the mobile back in his jacket pocket and the doors opened. He approached the counter and had a short pleasant chat with the young woman as she checked him out of the room. He grinned at the dark haired clerk, turning on his heel each step brought him closer to the glass doors and freedom from this bee’s nest.

The lights burn brightly a few burst before all fixtures blinked off, Xavier glanced at them as the clerk tapped a key then smacked the side of the monitor. Another step, the ground shook violently nearly knocking him off his feet, buildings collapsed smashing into the busy streets. People ran for cover as carnage was administered by the very buildings that the humans had crafted around them, thick clouds of dust and debris billowed into the air. 

Gravity withdrew its hold like an unseen wave all things drifted toward the east. A chair slammed into Xavier’s back pushing him toward the wall. His palms hit the vertical barrier, screaming pierced the quiet lobby as the clerk held to the desk feet kicking in the air uselessly. “What the hell?” A car burst through the entry of the hotel, sending shards of glass through the space like bullets. The driver turning the wheel in attempt to avoid the crash. Gravity took hold of New York, having been thrown off enough horses in his day, Xavier twisted his body enough to avoid breaking bones. Pain shot through his shoulder and wrist on impact, his hip and knee was kissed hard by the floor soon thereafter. The car shattered the rest of the doors as it bounced on the tires several times before coming to a rest. The glass rained down and the clerk slammed hard on the floor chased with a scream of pain. 

The whole city tipped, Xavier dodged a table skipping toward him catching him in the shoulder instead of the skull. He slipped a few times on the shards of glass as he made his way toward the clerk. The car was torn from the thick glass tearing up more of the paint of the expensive car. 

Several more shutters vibrated through the ground and water swept over the streets and pooling in basements and dips in the landscape before the city leveled. Xavier glanced over his shoulder toward the driver who still held on the steering wheel face white with fear. “Help me,” the clerk pleaded unable to unpin herself from the furniture huddled around her. [/hider]