At every turn, I'm being asked who the fuck I am. Well, now I'm gonna tell ya!

My name is Blur-biguls von Dinkleburg, and I am a dwarf. I am four feet tall and weigh two hundred and fifty pounds, and I like walks along the beach, busty wenches, and good mead. I also have a brother, Count Vidleschmirtz III, who rides a cougar made out of chainsaws on fire.

I've finally cleared that up! You lot happy now?

(Don't you even fucking dare, Doivid)