In my mind, the value of the temporary relief is the ability to keep living your life without killing yourself now. Or, more likely, than losing your job because the crazy in your head makes it too difficult. What I'm saying is that many people who do this stuff are basically doing it so that they CAN go to work next day. 

Also, while I know alcohol is a depressant, I've found that I've gone from being tired to having more energy when I drank some. I thought it was incredibly weird at the time. Granted, my anecdote has nothing to do with statistical evidence, just thought I'd point it out. As you know, no drug works the same for everyone. That being said, I can't guess what the longterm effects would be for me 

I'm glad your friend was cured. It's always good to hear that someone had a successful story. And I'm glad that you've found stuff that works for you as well. 

But I've had my issues going on at least a decade. I've been in and out of the mental health system since I was 13, and I'm 22 now. And never has anything really worked for me. My life is still a mess and I'm barely managing it with a minimal workload.

I guess in my mind, if I did it, I'd be getting the cheapest vodka and orange juice and therefore, in the beginning, not spending that much. I'd do just about anything to be able to actually deal with my life without nearly shutting down. But again, I can't afford it anyway, so it's kind of a moot point. 

And I do see what you're saying about the added tolerance and the fact that its totally unhealthy. I never said I thought it was a GOOD idea. I just said that I understood why people did it. The ability to live and be a functional member of society in the short term is often worth a few years off of the end of your life, in their minds. I'm not saying it actually is worth that. I'm saying that that's how it seems.

I don't hate you for telling me how dangerous the whole thing is. And I appreciate your offer of help. Honestly, it has been feeling like I would have to attempt suicide before anyone actually gave a damn. Not that I would.