My two guys. I'll write them as a team, but if you want I'll only use one.

[hider=Kyle Hart's broadcast]
*static breaks*
Ok, That should be it. The board says I'm broadcasting, so I guess you can hear me. I'm Kyle Hart, and if you have any idea what I'm saying, congratulations. You are one of the handful of individuals that weren't turned into zombies. For calibration purposes, I am broadcasting on 670 AM at the WHOM building in Memphis, Tennesee. According to my GPS it is now 12:02 PM, so good afternoon to all of you.
In case you were wondering, I'm a factory technician from a little city outside of Atlanta, and I found this place a few days ago and got it working. My companions, Franky and Robert, found a diesel tanker to fuel the generator in the basement and a load of solar panels, so I'm going to try and rig this place so that it can continue to broadcast. I'll be trading off with those to run the control room, so feel free to call in if you happen to be in the Memphis area and have a HAM radio that can broadcast at 100khz AM. We'll be happy to talk with you, or even meet up. Of course, for all of you bad guys out there that think you're making the world a better place or that just want to take our stuff, listen up. I'm sure he'll tell you more when he gets on here, but Franky's ex-special forces and one of the biggest bad-asses you'll ever com across. So if you want to hurt us, just keep moving and I'll make sure he doesn't put a 50 cal round through your head.
So, what can I talk about? Since this is the first time you've ever heard of me, I guess I ought to tell you a bit about myself. Like I said, I used to fix stuff in factories. They decided to fire me for some reason a few days before the meteors fell, and, after signing up for unemployment, locked myself in my house, only leaving to go shopping. I guess I felt like I deserved a break. Anyway, after a few days people started turning so I stayed inside with my pistol always by my side. When I started to run out of food and stuff, I took my neighbor's van, he was a plumber so I had plenty of room, and loaded everything I wanted to take with me in it, and headed out, hoping to find some remote area in the north or Texas where there weren't any zombies. Every time I stopped, though, the sound of the engine drew in the undead, so I couldn't stop more than the few minutes it took to loot a little or siphon a gas tank.
After almost two days of that, in which I didn't get a bit of sleep, I met Franky and Robert. We teamed up and decided to head for the Appalachians. We got kind of sidetracked, though, and only arrived in Memphis a few days ago. I figured we could use a break, so I set us up a camp here.
I'll talk about myself more later, but for now, let me tell you how we're going to run the place. I'll be on from noon to dusk, and midnight to dawn. Franky's the night shift guy, so he'll run it any time I'm not on the air at night, and Robert will run the day shift. And please, if you can find a ham radio, call in. We'd love to hear from anyone else that survived.
Now, let's see what music this place has...Hmmm. Well I'll find something better, but for right now, I guess I'll play some Beethoven. Enjoy.
*music begins*
[/hider]

[hider=Frank and Robert Hansen]
*Mozart concert stops and sounds like it's getting scratched*
Seriously? That's what Kyle's playing for you? I'll definitely have to do better than that. We're trying to attract people, not drive them away.
Ok, I guess I'd better say that I'm Franky Hansen and, despite the similarities with that British guy's name, who'll show up in 12 hours or so, I am not related to him. Let's see, it's 6:48 pm and I've got control of the station until midnight, so I'm gonna tell you all about me and hopefully you'll be interested, especially any ladies out there. And if there are any ladies out there, I'd just like to say that you should come by the station and let me buy you a drink. I've got a couple of kegs in the next room, Kyle's got some Brandy or Scotch or Jack or something, and Robert's got a few bottles of wine stashed away in case that's your thing. And believe me when I say that if something happens between us, even if that's why you came here in the first place, I will make it worth your while.
Huh? Yes I CAN proposition women over the radio. The government ain't around to stop me anymore and none of you really want to stop me, since you'd be doing it too if you weren't so stuck up.
Sorry, that was Robert. He seems to think the old US laws about prostitution still apply in a zombie wasteland. That's just because he's so stuck up. I tell you, HE'S the one that needs to get laid, then maybe he'd get that stick out of his ass.
So, ladies, let me tell you about myself. You could ay I'm a bona-fide hero. I was in Afghanistan during the war and got captured. One day, however, I had had enough and I decided to escape. I kicked several of their asses and even saved that British guy you heard me talking to. He was a non-com of some sort for the RAF, but I'll let his tell you about that. After we escaped and show another squadron where they were, the army debriefed us and we both got an honorable discharge for PTSD and Amnesia or some such. We were put in a VA Psych ward in Texas, and when the zombies happened they let me out. I did the same thing to them that I did to those terrorists, and, wouldn't you know it, me the British guy were the only ones to survive the assault. So we started heading East, hoping to get to the mountains where the Zombies would be rare, when we ran into Kyle, driving a flipping plumbers van of all things. We teamed up and kept going East, and ended up here. So, ladies, if you feel like taking a break from the horrors of the world and climbing into the arms of a true American hero, come on by.
And sense I'm sure there are bad guys out there listening as well, I've got a 50 cal sniper rifle, two 1911s, a machete, and two kabars on me at any time, so don't even think about starting anything. You'll be dead before your gun left its holster. And if you try to bring in something heavier, like an MRAP or a tank, I've got an RPG I've been itching to try out, so just try and take a run at us.
Now, that's enough honest intimidation for now. I happened to find the Ipod of one of the employees, and they've got some pretty decent songs on here, so it's time for some Ozzie.
[youtube]3MLp7YNTznE[/youtube]

*Rock music ends*
Hello, everyone. I'm Robert Hansen, and it is now 7:01 AM local time. Now, I'm sure that that soldier Franky told you some truly horrid and slanderous things about me after he finish propositioning every women within a hundred miles. I'm going to guess he said I was a ponsy bastard who could use a good shagging, am I right? Well, that's just the way he is, crude and bruttish. I only put up with his company because he rescued me from captivity, and I feel I owe it to him to teach at least some modicum of social grace.
I suppose I should invite you here, and, truthfully, we could use a visitor. I've had to put up with those two for so long it's amazing I haven't gone, how do you Americans say it, "bonkers". Now, don't get me wrong, Kyle isn't too bad. He at least knows the value of a good scotch or wine and appreciates some of the finer things in life, like classical music and chess. But there's only so many times you can talk with the same two people before there's nothing left to say.
So if you're out there, either call us at 100 khz AM on the radio or stop by the WHOM building in Memphis. We'd be happy to show you a bit of the hospitality that's sorely lacking in this day and age.
And now just to teach Franky a lesson about playing music all of us like, I'm staging a second Brittish invasion. It's time for the Beattles, with "Yellow Submarine".
[youtube]laRyswIO_-g[/youtube]
[/hider]