[b]Fallen+Sep[/b]

[u]Kay[/u]
 
Zats flashed as Miller, Morenu, Ay’mar and herself returned fire on the Alliance fighters. It was a hellish scene in the best description light. Moments within the fire fight, Kay felt a searing pain rush up her leg and her knee gave out from under her. Each movements caused more fire and torment to race along her nerves, singing them into twitching impulsions and rendered her leg utterly useless. The bullet hole seeped with blood that stained the tile floor. That wasn’t the worse of it. A chill, icy cold erupted along her skin making it feverish and sweaty. All color drained from her skin while her heart seemed to beat hundreds of times faster than normal, leaving her with the impulse to throw up anything left within her stomach. Her hand couldn’t grip the zat and it slipped from her numb fingers when Morenu took a fistful of her uniform and hauled her into cover. Kay couldn’t stop her mind numbing or her body trembling instinctively.
 
[i]Stop… Enough.[/i]
 
Kay’s eyes snapped open to the infirmary. No gun fire or shouts, just the harsh and cold reality of her condition to face. She wasn’t sure which was worse in the matter, the fact she had been stuck within this room for several weeks or the notion her pride wouldn’t let her live down her failure. Impulsively she shouldered her head in her hand. It sat there while her fingers massage her temple softly, despite to purge the memories and pain from her focus. Meanwhile from the sounds of the monitor, her heart had once again resumed its normal beat but Kay had little confidence a nurse wouldn’t arrive shortly. She needed to be gone before then. Her eyes shifted down to glimpse her earlier activity and noticed the Goa’uld language darted across the tablet screen, followed by the pronunciations Ariadne had given her.
 
Considering her present condition Kay was surprised to find she had fallen asleep while reading. Then again, maybe it wasn’t. She had been restless since the mission and it affected her sleeping patterned, though she it wasn’t hard to know deep inside the source of the problem. She had failed. Not just herself, but her team when they needed her most. It didn’t matter her knee was shattered or she went into shock shortly after. It was a weak hearted excuse, something to explain her helplessness and lack of excellence. It did nothing to ease the bitterness. And the sense of depression didn’t fade. Frustrated, she flipped off her tablet then tossed onto the bedside table. She soon shifted her legs over the bed edge, the blankets shoved aside, while she reached for her crutches nearby. It was a blessing the heart monitor was portable or else she would’ve been forced to use a bedpan, an unappealing thought, while she pulled herself from bed and onto her feet.
That regret, that anger seeped in her movements as she braced herself upright back on her crutches. In moments, she ignored the throbbing protest within her knee and was well on her way to the bathroom. Kay only paused enough to snatch her rolled up military garb before she slammed door shut. The vibration caused her to flinch with a new wave of pain, her teeth scraped against her bottom lip to mask her desire to scream out. It was the consequences of her choice to skip the morphine doses. On ship, it was no secret she refused to dull the pain or cover it up with drugs; instead she bore through it on a daily basis.
 
In return, it made simple movements like shutting doors hurt like hell.
 
However it wasn’t painful enough for her to reconsider her decision. Surprisingly out of all the doctors, Dr. Sterling was the only one who didn’t try to persuade a change of heart. Instead, he merely frowned then left without further word. Something that Kay found rather odd considering her prior experience with him. Hopping on one foot, Kay seated herself upon the close lid toilet as she dressed herself without aid from her crutches. It had taken some time to figure out the best system and while she easily pulled her shirt over her bra, shirt and fixed her hair upright, the bottom was another story. Namely getting her pants over a cast fixed from foot to knee and about several inches thick.
 
Each movement made her flinch and curse, her eyes filled with the familiar sting of torment but she kept on until her pants were on. It was then, an odd thought shifted deep within her mind. She still felt naked without her blades. It was odd like she missing a part of herself, yet she knew all her limbs and organs were firmly set in place. Sadly the doctors had ensured she wasn’t allowed to have them strictly due to security purpose, which didn’t help settle her nerves, causing her to force her calm. It wasn’t easy. Even now, Kay wished she had a toothbrush that she could’ve grounded into a fine point and stuck in her hair. Odd as that was, having a blade around was comforting due to being able to defend herself anytime. The main thing she hated about life was its unpredictability but come to live with over her years. Feeling fully dressed, Kay gripped her crutches and leaned against the sink where cold water ran. The water felt marvelous as it seemed to rinse away more than just the tiredness within her bones. In the tranquil moment haunting words filled her head when she reached for towel.
 
“Keep in mind you’re a soldier and your loyalty lies here first, [i]Second Lt.[/i] Zaken.” The memory of her brief trip back to earth jolted into her mind. The suddenness caused her to jump, her hand jerked out to balance herself and prevent a face down collision with the floor. The crutch clattered into the tile floor helping to ground her back into reality.
 
Her knuckles had whitened against the sink’s grip while she inhaled slowly, and then exhaled. Sweat poured over her body leaving her to shiver in its chill and her eyes lifted to stare at her image looking back. Then she abruptly twisted away in shame. 
 
Pushing it out of her mind, Kay exited the bathroom. Luckily the nurse hadn’t arrived but she did have a visitor, her eyes caught the familiar sight of Rea’c causing her to smile. She continued to swing to the bed while she talked, her head never left Rea’c figure in the doorway. “I couldn’t stand that bed any longer, Rea’c. Though I wasn’t expecting to have a surprise visit, what brings you here?” 

Rea’c merely nodded in her direction. “I have grown tired of sparring on the return trip to earth. There is no-one who is a worthy challenge for me, though this does not include present company.” He moved over to the side of the bed, and didn’t bother asking her how she felt. He knew how she felt. “I understand. Myself and many other Jaffa suffered the same problem when we switched to tretonin. When injured we found ourselves vulnerable. Unlike centuries before it took us time to heal and for many of us we considered returning to symbiotes because of it.”

He looked around the infirmary. “I am here to offer you an alternative to sitting in an infirmary during the ships time at Earth. I am returning to Chulak to report to the Jaffa governing council and train. You would be most welcome to join us, I have even requested use of one of the few sarcophagi we have if you would be willing.”

“Oh really? I won’t say being knocked on my ass would’ve made me much of a challenge. Though I refuse to stay down if I can help it.” Kay’s words paused, her mind unwilling rewind the moment she had been down and out for the count. 

A slight spark of irritation with herself found itself in her heart which she quickly pushed aside. Her attention turned to Rea’c mention of returning to Chulak, her lips pressed into a interested smirk and lowered herself onto the bed. Her arms slightly sore from the rubbing of her crutches and it eased when she placed them aside. She thought for a moment. Part of her want to remain injured and bedridden, the best excuse to avoid her personal conflict yet her pride hated it. Kay sighed, her curiosity and hunger for something new getting the better of her, she faced Rea’c. “I do want to get out of this bed and I’m very curious about Chulak. Just reading about it doesn’t give it enough credit, and well, I rather see it for myself. So when do we leave?” 

“They’re going to drop us off before the ship arrives back at Earth. Several hours most likely. Though before we arrive I will likely need to get your answer in terms of using the Sarcophagus as it won’t be easy to get access to it without prior asking for permission.” He looked around the room. “I have also requested permission to retake my position on the ground team after the defection of Lt.Brown. I feel that while the ship has many skilled pilots I could put my skills to better use in your team. If you accept this.” He bowed his head to her. 

“Ummm. Sounds perfect.” Kay said, realizing her voice had more relief in it then she meant to. The only negative thing was the fact she would’ve missed time spent with her parents and siblings, a rather deep and emotional blow she defected with bitterness. if they knew, they would understand. She started to lean farther in to listen to the details. Almost lose in her absorption of them that she was almost folded in half on her bed. 

Slowly she sat backwards and upright again, her arm positioned to lean against on the bed. “Well, give me time to think about the Sarcophagus. Though doesn’t it have some side-effects? I would have to re-read the first SG-1 reports. As for you joining the ground team. Trust is the thing we need the most and I would be honored that you are willing to retake your position on my ground team again. You’ve proven yourself a valuable warrior and friend, Rea’c. I won’t want it any other way.” 

He bowed his head to her again. “I have already informed the Captain so with your approval it shall be so.” He moved closer to the bed so she would not be so strained as to speak to him. “In terms of the Sarcophagus one or two uses can be employed without lasting side effects. It takes years to do the kind of damage that was done to the Goa’uld and the System Lords. However if you are unwilling I will understand.” He checked a black watch he had acquired with his new khaki trousers and black vest before beginning to move away again. “I doubt the Captain will linger for a long period of time. I must prepare my belongings. You are welcome on Chulak for a long as you wish though the Chapp’ai will be available to you.” He bowed again before walking out of the room.