Kalinda stopped, but didn't turn back around. She didn't know if she could without falling apart. She swallowed Audible and said softly, "You don't know everything. You don't know that for eight weeks, I was practically dead. You don't know how hard it was to leave. You don't know that for the last three years, I've been seeing a psychologist. That even being here, in this action, I feel like fleeing. I fell shaky and sick. And you don't know how much I hate myself, how much I would give anything to change things. But I can't. And thus I live with the consequences" 

She looked over her shoulder, eyes glistening with what might be tears. "I'm sorry" She swallowed again. "For hurting you. For not telling the truth. For being a coward and not facing everything. For being scared" She looked away, "it's not my house. I just lived there. That house belongs to a life that never should have existed"