[b][u]Abraham Gene, Jake Valos, Gabe Valos,[/u][/b] and [b][u]Sylvia Bertoose[/u][/b]

"No neva', no neva', no, nev'a again, 'till I live to be a hundred or a hundred an' ten - will I be cleaning up this fucking bitch-ass hallway again!" Abraham yelled as he put down the final touches of the mopping. A sopping, half-broken mop was plunged into the soapy bucket and was wringed out in the mechanism that came with it. He had to redo this particular spot three times, probably. Over and over again, students came around tracking dirt and mud over the floor he had cleaned. By about the third time a student came through, Abe had snapped the mop over his knee and chased him down hallway with two sharp pieces of wood. The only problem being that he almost ran into sight of Adam Blackmore - Adam Bitchmore - Adumb Dickless - Dorothy Fuckabish - whatever, and was forced to make hasty retreat.

What kind of place was this, anyhow? Cleaning? Why don't they have maids or housekeepers doing this chore-work for them? Why have students do this? What kind of punishment was cleaning? Well, clearly, pretty good punishment if he was this livid about it, but cleaning? That was a million miles beneath him! A billion miles! No job suitable for a man like himself.

He pushed away the mop bucket into the nearest janitor closet and walked away in a hurry. God forbid anyone seeing him do that. Before making a clean getaway from the scene and finally grabbing a bite to eat, he did have to make quick stop somewhere first. The men's restroom. It was Jake's final chore before being let off. It'd be such a [i]shame[/i] if that poor bastard had to redo [i]everything[/i]. A real [i]tragedy[/i].

That's why he took a roll of toilet paper off its hanger and tossed it into one of the toilets... just before he pressed the lever repeatedly with his fingers a blur. Abraham ran out - no - [i]sprinted[/i] out without even checking to see his handiwork. Yeah, fuck that getting caught noise. He was quite the runner too, racing down the hallways like a madman before taking safe refuge in his dorm at last. He looked around - it appear as if he had a roommate now. His bag? There it lay untouched, safe and sound. This is good. Of course, there was nothing there save for adobe bricks, but this was at least a good sign that his roomy knew his place.

This was turning out to be quite the evening. While he did have to clean, he finished it at a reasonable hour, sabotaged dickless' hard efforts, and nobody touched his things at the end of the day. That [i]had[/i] to warrant a celebratory song! He went for one of the two cases under his bed. The guitar was, obviously, the superior instrument, but lugging that around brought problems. The ukulele at least had a fun, cheery factor. Now to go to the cafeteria and get some food. He plucked the ukulele from its case and strolled out the door, singing to himself an old Neil Diamond song.

"Oh, look at the way she's wavin' her sail, what a wondrous sight to see!"

---

What a great time the Valos are having with Ms. Davis. All their problems upon coming here are just melting away... But naturally, they can never get what they want. Gabe was disconnected from this entire stupid demonstration of Jake's [i]amazing[/i] illusions. She put her elbow on the table and leaned into her open palm. She let out an exhale as she looked around the cafe. Which was a lot fucking harder when you were missing an eye, but she learned to live with it. Gabe's gaze directed itself to the doors of the cafe, someone just walked in and.... "Hey!" She shouted, immediately jumping out of her seat and slamming her palms onto the hard table. It was none other than Abraham Gene, the person she had a bone to pick with. It was about time someone taught him a lesson, that you can't just do what the hell you want and everyone will bend forward for you! "Gene! Ya' got a lot of nerve tryin' to fuck with one of us!"

"...What?" Jake looked around the second Gabe exploded in anger. He knew Gabe well enough that when she acts like this, he knows that she's seen someone she doesn't like. Because the concept of being subtle is [i]alien[/i] to her. Jake whipped around towards the center of Gabe's attention - and of course. It's Abraham Gene. He can never leave Jake alone, now can he? "Oh god..." Jake said as he put his face into his palms. He was just hoping he could just avoid Abe much as possible and enjoy this near-perfect paradise for what it is! But, no, he has to get fucked with twenty-four-seven. 

Abraham took a brief recess from his whimsical playing at the sound of abrupt yelling. With his name, to boot! How wonderful! Abe turned to face Gabe's outrage with glee. Half of it was simply toy with the firecracker of a gal. Really, he didn't care to waste his time on the Valos' tonight. He had his fair share earlier - was there blood under his fingernails? Oh god, the blood of [i]serfs.[/i] On [i]him[/i]. Such taint.

"I have a lot of a lot'a things, baby doll," Abe whimsically patronized, "and [i]nerve[/i] is just the tip of the iceberg!"

"Oooooh!" Sylvia said with a cheeky grin. She poked Jake with an elbow. "It's your [i]boyfriend[/i], Jake, how about you go put on some makeup and say hello...?"

"Oh shut up." Jake snarled at Sylvia. He needed to stop this before it escalated, which, with two trigger happy morons, will happen in a flash. He jumped up and grabbed Gabe by the shoulder and pulled her down. "Calm down. We're already in deep shit, don't get us in anymore..."

"... I ain't-" Gabe tried to reply only to get cut off.

"That proud shit isn't going to fly here. Look around you," Jake observed everyone here, "There's like five hundred damn people here, if you start something here, we're probably going to get thrown off the island."

"My, my! And my last girlfriend said that [i]I[/i] was self-centered!" Abraham chuckled. Man, what cute siblingry! Little firecracker getting held up by Slim Jim. Slim Jim! That's a good one. Short, skinny, unbearably greasy, and lacking in taste. "Don't flatter yourself Slim Jim, I just came around to eat something - haven't had a bite since that [i]sashimi[/i] on board, so I'm feeling a bit peckish."

Abe's clever smile turned smug.

"If your sister or lady friend right there ain't shy though, I'd be down for eating out - if you catch my drift."

Sylvia started quietly giggling underneath her breath, putting her hand over her mouth, with a cheeky smile on her face. "... Maaaaaaybe later." She said for no reason other than to string this meat-head along. Entertaining the idea that he'll ever get [i]close[/i] to getting with her. Sure he was a hunk, but Sylvia liked the wimpy innocent boys - Like Nicholas! The kind that she could corrupt to her heart's content.

He winked at Sylvia and walked away from the group with hearty, amused laughter. Man, what a riot those two. Now, what's here? If it's fish sticks and french fries, he's gonna throttle a punk-ass little shit. He sure didn't know what he was getting into on the way here. Some higher class food ought to be the least they could do.

Jake and Gabe watched as Abe walked away. God damn they hated that smug-ass bastard, and being trapped on an island with his ass didn't help. But whatever he was walking away, and they were just dandy with him being far away from him. Though, Gabe was going to teach him a lesson or two when there aren't so many witnesses - because they're always getting in the way. Gabe decided to distract herself with her coffee, thankfully that resistance to heat allowed her to down it like it was nothing. Still, no matter how much coffee she consumed, she was still fucking angry. At Abe... and now Sylvia. 

"Sylvie," Gabe started off, oddly calm, "don't fucking fraternize with that rock bastard."

"I'm not fucking fraternizing with anyone!" Sylvia replied, "I think he's [i]fun-nay[/i]!"

"Then why the fuck don't ya' head ova' there then?!" Gabe snarled, "Get some fucking laughs!"

"Maybe I fucking will!" Sylvia got up off the chair and marched her way over to Abe's table. What the fuck was her problem? They were like sisters... but it's not like sisters never fought. Whatever! Sylvia was going to have the bestest of all times with Abe. At least he'll treat her right!

Abraham still stood by the cafe' line. Hmm. Steak salad. Whose idea was that? A man who wants a teak turns his nose at salads, and girls who turn to salads are doing that to lose weight - because there's clearly no other reason - and putting a steak on a salad acts counter-productive to that! Ugh. The selection was poor. He looked the food once more. Seriously, back home, he could get food from one of the - oh God! Oh God! Was that a fly?! Did a fly just land on some of the food?! And the guy behind the window just waved it off!

Yeah, it's time to get out of here. Abe lft the scene with a cup of black coffee and a bag of corn chips, which he had gotten at the end of the line with a [i]pre-packaged[/i] container of guacamole. He didn't trust the guy back there. His only experience cooking was probably in a prison. He sat down at his table, discouraged by his unexpectedly small meal.

Sylvia slid her way into Abe's table, "Heeeeeeeeeey, there," She said with a cheeky grin. "I decided to take you up on that [i]offer[/i]." She laughed.

Abe's head perked up at the sudden arrival of a familiar voice. Oh? So it's this girl! [i]'Ha! Feelin' pretty sly right now.'[/i] He thought. And some of the most beautiful words ever spoken came from her lips! Yes! Booya! His meal started looking a lot bigger.

"Oh? Is that right?" Abe purred. "And what was the straw that broke the camel's back?"