[quote=SirBeowulf]
Obviously we should all just start using bottle caps as the main and overarching currency.
[/quote]

Indeed. 

Hail-o-Cola! 

Hey kids, have you ever wanted to turn into a bloodthirsty psycho and eat your parents? Then Hail-o-Cola is for you! Just drink 3-10 liters a day and you'll be an indiscriminate cannibal in just THREE WEEKS!

HAILOCOLA! Now in stores near you!

-hailocoladoesnotactuallycauseanyknownmutations.itisreccomendedthatchildrenundertheageoffifteendonotdrinkmorethanoneliterofhailocolaaday.
ifconsumersexperiencestrangemutationsofanykindcall1-800-DRINKHC-

...I broke the guild for a moment.