The katanas swung down at Minoru’s head with the speed and precision of a Master. Minoru managed a devilish smile as easily dodged the blades by side-stepping the two samurais. Gripping their wrists mid-swing, Minoru pivoted on his heel and spun the samurai head over heel and slammed them into the ground. 

With guttural growls, the swordsmen got up and faced Minoru. The young boy looked out of place with his beige overcoat and loose red-tie but he still grinned like he was a parent toying with a child. “Let’s stop this,” Minoru said with a handsome smile as he brushed his hair upward. “If I were serious, I could’ve killed you twenty times over.”

The samurais scowled deeper and gripped their sword harder. “You have dishonored our master,” the first one said, pointing to a destroyed dojo to the right. “By breaking his weapon you robbed him of his pride and didn’t even grant him the mercy of a quick kill!”

Minoru turned and faced them. With the flick of his wrist, he brandished a beautiful rose and twirled it between his thin fingers. “I don’t welcome violence.”

One of the samurai wanted to argue that he destroyed an entire dojo because the Master had accidentally bumped into him on the road but didn’t say anything. Instead the two swordsmen charged and Minoru stood there waiting with a grin on his face. 

At the last moment, Minoru charged forward and slammed the samurais heads together, simultaneously destroying their swords and he stuck the rose inside the armor of the first samurai. With a proud smirk, Minoru turned and winked at the fallen samurai who slumped over unconscious. 

“Spend some time reevaluating your life, nameless swordsmen being used as plot devices to demonstrate my awesome power,” Minoru told them sagely as he brandished a large straw hat and placed it over his head, somehow grabbing a long tattered cape and putting it over his back. “I’m afraid there are still people out there who need a hero like me.”

Suddenly, a woman’s screech broke through the day and Minoru turned and saw a petite damsel in distress rushing toward him. Minoru caught the poor women as she collapsed in his arms. “Dear woman, what’s wrong?”

The woman, with flushed cheeks and weary eyes, faced Minoru, cupping his cheeks. “Oh, Great and Awesome Minoru. You have saved our town from the scrooge of background characters BUT, your next threat approaches!”

She pointed to the horizon where a massive swarm of demons took to the skies. In the number of thousands they flew up toward the sun, blotting out the light, and charged toward the little town. The woman swooned again and Minoru cradled her carefully.

“Please Minoru, you are the only one who can save us,” the woman said weakly. “The Aztec prophecy declared you the Chosen One who must wield the Sword of Justice and vanquish the enemy.” 

She reached into her blouse and pulled out a 10 foot long wicked jade sword with a golden handle and handed it to Minoru. “Please don’t ask how I knew all of that and where I got the sword from. But please save us! Only you can do it!”

“I will random woman,” Minoru promised with determination in his eyes also a hint of sadness but loads of courage in there. 

“And if you do, will you marry me?” the woman asked presenting Minoru with a beautiful diamond ring.

Minoru looked away as pain washed over his handsome face. Memories of his beloved flashed in his mind, although it was maddeningly fuzzy he knew there was someone out there waiting for him. His Light. 

“I cannot pretty woman,” he said grimly. “For I have a loved one waiting for me.” Minoru dropped the woman in the mud and looked toward the sun. “I fight for her…”

The woman said something that couldn’t be heard over the dirt in her mouth. “You’re right,” Minoru agreed. “I must stop the 10,000 demons before I do the whole tragic hero backstory. AVAST!”

Minoru ripped off his shirt and revealed and a barrel-chest and a six-pack. He raised his sword and leapt to meet the demons in epic combat. 

…

A meaty fist collided with Minoru’s face and sent him flying outside the shoddy little diner. Minoru groaned as blood spurted from his nose and he tumbled across the ground. 

The Neanderthal attacking Minoru laughed dumbly, cracking his large fists and sending a devastating kick to Minoru’s side which caused him to double-over and retch violently.

“Tiny man sound funny when I hit him,” the man grumbled.

Minoru weakly sat up, rubbing his bruised face. “Ugh, I think your first punch concussed me so much I had a really sexist, possibly racist, dream,” he complained. 

The gorilla-man picked Minoru up by the cuff of his shirt, lifting him up over his head. “Tiny Man talk funny!”

“Tiny Man also fights back!” Minoru cried as he brought down a perfect knife-hand technique on Gorilla Man’s face… only to bust his fingers on his tough forehead. Minoru yelped and winced as his hand burned with pain. Gorilla Man laughed and threw Minoru across the street and into a pile of garbage cans.

Gorilla Man laughed as he went back into the shop leaving Minoru to marinate in his own pity. His face was bruised so his cheeks looked like a rotten apple, his right eye was swollen shut and blackened horribly. His shirt was stained with his blood. Minoru sighed which hurt his chest.

“So much for my rotten luck,” Minoru grumbled as he got up and brushed himself off. Minoru should have known better that his luck would turn around, he had found a pouch of munny on the streets and decided to drop by the police station so they can find who it belonged to. The owner came back, thanked him, and gave him a little bit of munny to grab some dinner.

Minoru went into the diner to eat and Gorilla Man randomly attacked him. And no that isn’t some excuse to cover up some horrible thing Minoru did to offend Gorilla Man. Minoru was just eating his food when Gorilla Man grabbed his head and slammed him into his plate.

People got like that around Minoru. They always felt uneasy, nervous or even angry sometimes. Minoru pinned it down to his horrible luck but there wasn’t much of an explanation. Either way, Minoru tended to get on people’s bad side really easily. 

Minoru trudged off in a random direction, not really sure where he’s going. He rubbed his aching ribs and thought about the visions he received. A few days ago, Minoru had a few dreams of a woman in white urging him to find her. She wasn’t in trouble or anything but she looked so sad and asked Minoru what he remembered.

Minoru tried to answer but for the life of him he couldn’t. He didn’t know who he was. Only that his name was Minoru Izumi and he has the worst luck in the history of the universe. Minoru walked past a few alleyways, despondently looking at his shoes and grimacing in sadness.

The bruises hurt sure, his face felt like it was being held together by staples and tape. But the pain in his head and heart hurt the most. It was one thing missing someone, it was something else missing something you don’t even remember.

Plato had once described that humans originally had two bodies sorta smashed together. The gods thought it made the humans too powerful so they split them apart and since then every human had been searching for their other half, their soul mate.

“Thanks for the help, Plato,” Minoru grumbled. “A hint as to who my other half is would be nice.”

The sound of growling took Minoru by surprise. He turned around and saw a legion of alleyway dogs snarling evilly at him. Minoru’s eyes widened. “Good puppy, you don’t want to eat me, I taste horrible. I’m not even main character worthy!”

The lead dog barked and glowered darkly at Minoru and he swore the dog was saying something like, “You smell like sadness, I’ll put you out of your misery.”

Minoru ran and the dogs chased him. The thing about running away from dogs is that it’s really hard. Dogs are stupidly fast and no amount of begging could help. Minoru ran for what felt like hours but he managed to shake them off in the alleyways and by throwing one of his shoes at them. 

He stopped in the middle of the city to catch his breath. “Friggin’ dogs,” he panted. “Here I thought they were cute!”

Suddenly his shoe came flying at his head and Minoru turned and saw the lead dog from earlier giving him an almost pitiful expression, like saying he felt so bad for Minoru that he’d give back his shoe. Minoru would’ve been thankful except the shoe was chewed up, still he put it on.

Looking in front of him, Minoru noticed a stupidly big structure before him. It looked like a fortified base but Minoru made the educated guess that it was a high school. Because only high school can look so emotionally draining and soulless. 

“Or maybe a factory,” Minoru mumbled to himself. “What’s this doing here?”

Minoru was ready to walk in and investigate when a bolt of lightning came out of nowhere and struck him down. So much for a hero’s entrance.