[quote=Genkai]
It is a bit lacking in detail but maybe once she's engaged in the scene more...I mean, with advanced, it's nice to be concise but it's also good to have detail, depth and emotion. We have plenty of room to expand posts and develop a world and people. I don't know if short posts would really aid in that. But again maybe as things move along...
[/quote]

Alright, got it. I'll try harder next round!