Kijani was stunned into complete silence. Even her always-thinking mind quieted when Connor started to talk. She couldn't believe he remembered the first time they spoke. She hadn't until much later on. He was right. Somehow, he'd got through her walls, he'd snuck past her guard, he was there in her heart before she knew it, and now she didn't know how to get him out.

He needed her? ...why? He had parents who obviously cared, he had friends, he had plenty of good people in his life, so why would he want, let alone need someone like her? 

Then he said something that made her stomach twist. He thought that she didn't trust him, that she thought he was going to hurt her on purpose. That... that wasn't quite true, not anymore, but she couldn't fully explain why she still couldn't trust him. 
 
When she felt him let go, something in her cried out for the sudden absence of his solid warmth, his presence. 

She... she didn't deserve this, did she?

"Connor..." She was trying to get the words out before her throat closed up. "I don't know how we got here. I never meant to lo-" The word nearly slipped from her heart and past her lips without clearing her brain first. "I never meant to let you in." Damn, the tears were coming. "Fool..." She turned to him, touching his face with both hands.

"Don't you know I'll ruin you?" Admitting that was too much, and she pulled away, feeling her face starting to collapse in childish crying.