Sleep didn’t come easy to Lily. In fact, she hardly slept that night. Thoughts swirled and darted around in her head, insisting on being brought to the forefront of her mind a dozen times each before they would retreat to the back of her mind. Not even Tsukiko’s gently embracing her from behind as she slept helped. She hadn’t managed to talk to Tsuki yet, having been unable to muster the courage to open up. Far be it from her to be cowardly, but she was so used to guarding the innermost parts of herself that just suddenly doing so seemed completely unfeasible. Toying idly with one of Tsukiko’s tails, she attempted to focus her thoughts. The result was a promise. A promise that she, upon the next morning, would talk about it. Or at least let Tsukiko in on her thoughts a little more than she had done in the past. She deserved that much, at least. --------- Lily awoke to the sound of an incessant beeping. She sometimes cursed that damnable alarm clock, but it was a necessity. Of her and her roommate, she was the one who had trouble getting up, with Tsukiko being the one who was the early riser—surprising seeing as cats were lazy and slept for the majority of the day in most cases. She reached over and hit the clock, silencing it immediately. What followed was a wrestling match between the two sides of her mind; one that wanted to continue sleeping and the other which told her that she had to get up. Eventually, however, the rational part of her mind achieved victory and she sat up, scratching her head, followed by a pitiful attempt to get her hair into some semblance of order with her fingers. There was a noticeable cold spot beside her, the spot where Tsukiko had been sleeping some scant few hours ago. Turning her head she saw the cat-girl sitting on her own bed, patiently brushing her own hair while humming a happy tune. It didn’t take more than a few moments before the brushing ceased its movement and Tsukiko noticed the blank, almost sad stare Lily was sending her way. “What’s the matter?” She asked, tilting her head as she made one final stroke with the brush and deposited beside her on the bed. “You look sad, almost.” “I guess that’s because I am,” she admitted after a few seconds of silence. “Look. There’s… something we need to talk about.” At Tsukiko’s suddenly terrified expression she quickly raised both hands in what she hoped was a calming gesture. “No. I’m not breaking up with you—” Tsukiko calmed down almost immediately “—but it still is serious. At least somewhat… You know how I once told you about how my life used to be before I became a Shifter?” The Cat-girl nodded. “Well, that’s not really all of it. It’s true that I was dirt-poor and both begged and stole to get what I needed, but that’s not the extents of it. I—” she stopped herself at that, somehow finding herself unable to say any more. Several times her mouth opened and closed as if to say something, but every time the only thing she got out was a half formed croak, if anything at all. Without a word Tsukiko moved off of her bed and over beside Lily, wrapping her arms around her in an awkward embrace. She placed a light peck on the raven haired girl’s cheek and continued humming. They sat like that for a while, neither moving nor speaking. In end the it was Tsukiko who broke it. “Just speak when you’re ready, alright?” Lily actually chuckled at that, although it was without much humour. “Just like you. Wanting to help everybody as best you can.” She sighed and, in a sullen voice, continued. “You’ve noticed how I still seem to stuff myself every time we have breakfast, lunch, dinner, whatever right?” Tsukiko nodded. “Well, there’s a… reason for that.” “What… would that be?” Again, Lily sighed, gently extricating herself from the embrace, and creating some distance between the two. Not enough to allow any greater meaning to arise from it, but enough that she could at least look Tsukiko in the eyes. “I keep stuffing myself, I am possessive, and I react violently towards… certain things. Fact of the matter is, Tsuki, I…” She couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. Diverting her gaze she grit her teeth and forced it out. “Just take your time,” Tsukiko managed to interject before Lily spoke. “I’m still stuck in that world!” She exclaimed, angrily almost. “All around I see rivals, people as low as myself who would sooner kill than go hungry another night. I stuff my face like I do because I’m afraid it’ll be the last time I’ll eat well in my life. I’m afraid of letting you go for too long because some part of my mind tells me that you’ll find someone better than me; someone who isn’t a street rat who doesn’t even know their own mother!” Struck speechless, the only thing Tsukiko could do was listen. She gently entangled her fingers with Lily’s, hoping that the touch would at least do a little to calm her, distraught as she was. She wasn’t quite sure if anything she’d say would be taken the wrong way, so she stayed silent for the time. Lily continued her tirade. “I’m an ass, mostly, no question about that. Why, you ask? Because the same fucked up part of me refuses to believe that they’re not out to take everything I have! So I antagonise them. I piss them off enough that they forget about it and would rather punch me, and then I run; getting them away from what is mine.” She paused, standing up and marching over one of the few patches of bare, wooden wall in their room. She raised her fist and, without a second thought, smashed it into the wall hard enough to crack the skin of her knuckles and make the wound on her chest and shoulder flare up in pain. “I’m afraid, damnit,” she choked out, teeth gritted as she tried to hold back tears. Tears brought forth by the pain rather than her own emotions. “I’m scared shitless that I’m going to lose _everything_ without ever having a chance to avoid it.” Hesitantly, Tsukiko stood up from the bed and walked over to Lily. “It’s alright, Lily. I... “ she swallowed. “I can help you, I—” Lily whirled around, her arm still stretched out. A smear of her own blood decorated Tsukiko’s chin, and her head jerked to the side with the force of Lily’s accidental punch. “You’re not some prince on a white charger who can just ride in and save the day, Tsukiko!” Tsukiko. Not Tsuki. “You can’t change my past, and you can’t magically make it all better—” “But I can be here for you! Now! When you need it!” She took Lily by the shoulders, ignoring the crimson smear on her cheek and pushed her up against the wall, forcing her to stand still. Her slitted eyes served to make the glare she gave Lily even more potent. “You do _not_ live in the streets anymore! I’ve been putting up with it until now, but…” she stopped, blinked, and then sighed. “Lily… You talk about being afraid and scared.” She released Lily, letting her step away from the wall, closer to Tsukiko. “I can’t change the past, Lily. I can’t do anything to stop your parents from abandoning you—” Lily winced at that one and diverted her gaze off to the side, mouth pressed into a thin line “—nor can I prevent whatever else happened to you. All I can do is make you a promise: Whenever, whatever, or whereever it is, you can come to me. If you want to talk I’ll be here. If you want company, I’ll let you share my bed for the night. Whatever it is you need, or want, don’t be afraid to call for help. You’re not alone anymore.” Lily looked insecure for far longer than she was comfortable with, her eyes glistening because something had gotten in her eye—or so she would claim—and lower lip trembling. She didn’t say anything for the first several long moments, finding herself a loss for words. Simple as that. Finally, after a long while, she said something; her voice was quiet as she said it. “There is… one thing. One thing that you may be able to help me with.” One ear flopped to the side as she tilted her head, looking inquisitively at Lily. “What is it?” “I never had a family… will you be it?” A few seconds seemed necessary for the information to compute, but when it did the brown-haired girl lurched forward, wrapping Lily in a tight hug. “We’ll have to decide who’s going to wear the suit first, though.” She chuckled and nuzzled her head in under Lily’s cheek, not for the first time loving the fact that she was just small enough to be able to do that. “But yes. Definitely.” Lily, for her part, was as close to grinning like an idiot as one could be without actually crossing the line. She wrapped her arms around Tsukiko, drawing her in as tightly as she could without pain flaring up from her wounds. “Thanks, Tsuki,” she murmured. She was a long way from recovery, if it was even possible. She knew as well as the next person that letting go, and putting your past behind you was something that took time. It was a long and audacious process, but she had taken the first step at the very least. If anything, a small bandaid had been placed on one big wound. It was far from enough to let it heal completely—if it ever would—but it was a start. "I'm taking the dress, by the way," Lily said after some time. "Aaw. Why? I wanted it?" Lily one hand from behind Tsukiko and poked her in the chest. "I can fill it out better than you can." "...Drat."