Okay so we've all gathered and had generally the same concerns. I will be giving feedback in this post. If I overlooked you, let me know. If you edit something, let us know and tell us WHAT you edited so we're not trying to figure it out. Pouring over sheets gets a bit tiring you know. Only when I've given you a fat APPROVED, may you post in the CS and then talk with the others to make your two connections. I think rather than have the GMs give you one, the RPers will feel free to pick two on their own. So have at it once you're approved. (after all, why make a connection with someone who is dropping out or has to make edits???)

Also guys, present tense is really annoying to read. And some have used first person which is fine in a sample. But please post in third person, past tense for all IC posts! Also proofread, some people are missing a letter here or there. Just things to tidy a post up. Also also also-some of you need appearance, just find something please, even just a head shot~

**_FEEDBACK:_**

Hebigami Shiho: Your character will be useful for helping with work on the sidelines and during downtime. Obviously she is not a fighter but we would like to know is why you added her inability to fight (with the sword, bow). Is it needed? Could you just say she isn't combat oriented and therefore does not fight if possible? But then you also mention she is "quite skilled" with fire and water but in reality she isn't. She just knows basics to aid with cooking and making potions correct? Also her stutter (for me, a character stuttering shows weakness or a bit of stupidity that she can't think/converse) or shyness can be a weakness, which is fine to have but if she's stuttering every word, I have to question her resolve to be with a group, tromping around the world. If she's really as popular as she claims, then wouldn't she have gained some confidence with being social? Just some thoughts.

SillyGoy: We believe him lacking any "drawbacks" or weakness to his massive list of attacks is an issue. We'd like you to scale back his skill set some. We feel like the giant boulder needs to go, and at least one other move because they are pretty advanced and although there is reason behind it, we'd still liked some moderation. And as far as teaching goes, that is alright...but I would then wager it is basic and not in a real classroom setting since he is very young. I mean a 24 year old even in an academic situation will probably only have 3-4 enchantments that they know well, be them something basic and something more advanced or tricky. So if you could up the age some, that would be lovely but the skills is what need tweaking the most.

The_written_John: We're in agreement that the attack that can give someone sudden death/a heart attack, is not something we're comfortable with. Also the history of him is quite...colorful and it should have a purpose because that would take a mental tax on someone, drive them mad almost. It may also be helpful if you gave us some sort of Code or Creed he as a monk lives by. And you should also be aware that the world isn't that bloody or eccentric. I mean generally everyone gets along...no crazy massacres or war torn landscapes. So if you can adjust his magical skills, jot down what he has learned/gained as a monk and how it guides him now, as well as make a note to be careful with his history and stability, that would be good.

Dioxide: We're going to want to see a bit more in regards to his physical skills (if any) he has, or general fitness perhaps. We should note though, a rune wouldn't give poisonous toxins so he would need to carry some in a vial on his person, should he wish to say, coat a weapon in poison. And I think just having one or two weapons (and to me, katar is pretty much a dagger that's just more specified) rather than three since he is young and should focus on one thing rather than two or three, as far as skills and weaponry go. 

Dead Cruiser: We are a bit wary that he knows pretty much everything in some regard. We understand his age and his travels can add up the skills he has under his belt but we would still like to ensure he isn't on the border of a perfect character or one without flaws. His age is a flaw of course but since it grants him so much skill in everything you listed, it's more of a pro than a con, at least in the way it was presented since it just listed off everything he could do and nothing he struggled with. Or just doesn't like to do. Just because you have time on your hands doesn't mean you'll master fishing, it's not for everyone (an example). And then you go on to add all the spells and herbal things he knows to stay fit and healthy, again we would want exact details. And perhaps what sort of rules he abides by as a knight or former one.