> Dammit, writing in asterisks makes it italicized.  


Oh Jesus.. That's going to throw a spanner in the works.
*sweats nervously* ... 
**can't sweat nervously because of this damn italicized text** ... ***has a breakdown because two asterisks makes it bold*** .... ********inserts many asterisks to appease the gods******* .... [resorts to square brackets because my asterisks keep disappearing]