[center][h1]*~*[color=DarkOrchid]Morgana[/color] and [color=LightSlateGray]The Sorcerer[/color] ~ Present Day ~ Beach Shore*~*[/h1][/center]

Morning had started turning into day as the sun rose higher into the sky, basking all beneath it in its refulgent warmth. It was during this time that the forest seemed most alive, as squirrels, birds, insects, and other woodland creatures went about their daily routines. 

Not far from the forest's edge, a quarter mile at most, was a long beach that stretched on as far as the eye could see. Dotted with rocks large enough for one to sit on, many of the Fairy Tale World's inhabitants would come here whenever they wished to get away....that was, until the Dark Queen's takeover. 

Sitting atop one of the aforementioned rocks was the Sorcerer, his boots planted only a foot away from the water's edge as the waves caused the sea to reach out, trying futilely to lap up at his feet, only to recede back and start all over again. 

Gloved hands neatly folded in his lap, the Sorcerer simply looked out past the water's edge, the seemingly endless sea reflecting with glorious light, what little remained of the dark from the night before painting the sky's edge in a brilliant purple and blue, retreating from the vigil of the Day. 

It was during this time that the Sorcerer felt he could think the clearest, surrounded by serenity and peace; untouched by Morgana's foul touches. Thinking of the Queen sent a sharp pang of guilt through the Sorcerer's heart. There was a time, many years ago, when she was younger--different. Little more than a child forced into growing up far before she was due. Friendly, curious, and always willing to speak to him when he went under the name of Merlin.

Where had he gone wrong.....?

*~*~*

[i]Mind wandering back to a time before, the Sorcerer found himself back in Camelot, in the large castle of the Good King Uther, a stern but well-meaning man who kept Merlin in his service for advice on manners of magic, as well as a tutor for his son, Arthur. 

Currently hidden away in the tower that functioned as a bedroom, study, and classroom all in one, Merlin was currently hunched over an aged wooden table, scrawling on a blank piece of parchment. The words he wrote were far from English, some ancient language in which he was most likely the only one able to translate. 

Feeling the fresh air blow in through his small window, Merlin leaned back in his chair, which creaked from the shifted weight as he breathed in the smell of nature. 

Biting down on her lower lip softly she hesitated, raising her hand to knock politely against the wooden door being sure to gain his attention before she stepped into the room, her dark brown orbs slowly gliding over everything and anything she could see before coming to a rest on the man she had grown to care for over the time she had been in the Kings care, "Forgive me the intrusion... You said to come to you if it ever happened again..."

Turning in his seat to look behind him as he heard the knock on the door, Merlin carefully returned his quill to its inkpot before rising up from his chair, taking a moment to dust off his [url=http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/028/9/7/psijic_vadril_by_theminttu-d4nv0xt.jpg]robes[/url] of faded yellow as he saw the young girl standing in the doorway, looking quite frankly perturbed.

Lowering her gaze to the desk she brought her hands together in front of her, nervously playing with the front of her gown as she explained, "The nightmares... They have come back. I couldn't sleep at all last night..."

Merlin nodded understandingly, the light from the window just managing to catch a glimpse of at least part of the face beneath the hood, a square jaw blanketed by a thin, neatly trimmed beard of brown-and-gray that didn't reach past his chin. 

"I see, yes...come, have a seat. I'll prepare you some tea." Merlin offered kindly, closing the door with a mere wave of his hand before attending to an elevated teapot over the still-crackling fire in the hearth. 

Lifting her head to look over at him, she followed his gaze nodding softly as she moved out of the middle of the entrance and over to the table, her hands sliding down the back of her legs holding her gown against her as she took a seat, the young girl staying silent as she watched him use his magic, something she knew she couldn't do while in these castle walls.

Conjuring two small teacups (complete with the sewn tea bags)  on the table that functioned as a dining table, Merlin procured the teapot from the hearth and poured the boiling water into both cups before motioning towards the one closest to Morgana.

Taking a seat opposite the one offered to her, Merlin wasted no time asking, "What was last night's dream about? If you don't mind my asking, my dear." 

Reaching out she took the cup offered to her in both hands, her eyes saddening as she lowered her gaze to the liquid within, her thumb gently sliding back and forth over the outside savoring the warmth it was giving her hands, "My mother..."

Her lower lip trembled slightly as she forced herself to think back to the nightmare that had plagued her, "The feeling of water rushing into my lungs... It burned so much... I couldn't do anything." Her arm raised, her hand gently pressing against her neck as she began to rub trying to rid herself of the feeling it had given her.

"I was so scared I was going to die..." Placing her untouched cup back onto the table she lowered her hands to her lap falling silent.

Merlin listened patiently, occasionally taking a sip from his own cup as he let her explain what had kept her up all night. 

Allowing a few moments to think of what to speak, Merlin let out a small sigh before beginning in a calm, sympathetic tone, "Trauma is a terrible thing...it can plague people for the rest of their lives. But here is what I want you to do...the next time you have this nightmare, the next time you feel the memory crawling into your mind...I want you to play it out, the entire scene. Accept what happened to you, don't fear what [b]might[/b] have been. You survived, and here you sit, a beautiful, intelligent girl who, I think...has an incredibly bright future." Merlin advised kindly, what little of his face that could be seen beneath his hood apparently smiling to emphasize his words. 

Closing her eyes she shook her head, her brows furrowing in slight worry at his words, she didn't want to let it play out, she didn't want to remember what had happened to her, all she wanted to do was forget, "I do not think that is something I can do... I just want to forget it all, I am tired, I cannot keep going with this haunting me..."

Standing up she wrapped her arms around her body, her feet moving herself over to the window so that she could look out upon Camelot, a worried look on her face, "I cannot do what is needed of me if I do not rid myself of this..." Her last words were hushed, spoken mostly to herself though she knew he would take it as meaning her fulfilling her duties as the Kings ward.

"My lady..." Merlin began, rising from his own seat to approach her. "Memories are what define us, they're what make us all so unique. Answer me this: can you truly cherish the good memories, if there were no bad memories?" 

"Well, no... But-..." Turning around to face him she lifted her gaze matching his, "This is not just a mere bad memory. I do not think it would affect those that are good if it was just gone, taken away from my mind... Can you do that for me..?"

Merlin seemed to stiffen slightly as she requested him to take away her memory, to make her forget. It was within the bounds of his power, yes, but...such a power, used so freely...

"No...no, I cannot. I'm sorry, my dear." Merlin replied in a heavy tone, turning his gaze to look into her eyes. "Allow me to share a story with you." Merlin requested, his gaze turning towards the small table once more, mentally urging her to sit down once again. 

Her heart sunk in her chest as his answer hit her ears weighing down upon her, she knew it wasn't because he couldn't help her, but more towards the fact that he didn't wish to remove her past from her.

Following his gaze to the table she gave a single nod of understanding, moving back over to her seat she sat back down her hands in her lap and her eyes never leaving the table.

Sitting down opposite her once again, Merlin began to retell his story, gauging her as he spoke for any reaction, "When I was a young man, before I came to Camelot, back when I was merely an apprentice...I met this woman. She was incredibly beautiful, and possessed a keen intelligence that could baffle many scholars. There was only one problem between this woman and myself...she was a practitioner of the Dark Arts, a wielder of forbidden magic that could most likely have ended with her being executed should she have been caught. Her and I were in conflict for much time, seeming to always run into each other no matter where I was sent. Little did I know that Fate had a bigger hold in our relationship than I had previously thought. I was young, pompous, and arrogant, so easily condemning her actions, her practice of perverted magic, that I could hardly see past the large mountain I had set myself upon. One thing I had [b]not[/b] expected, however, is that, as time passed....we would fall in love." He stopped for a brief moment to take another drink of his tea and clear his throat before continuing, still having not reached the point of his message. 

Her heart froze in her chest, her jaw clenching for but a moment as she heard him speak of the particular artform she had been studying under her mistresses guidance in secret, the woman giving her all the skills and knowledge she would need for when she took her place as Queen of Darkness, something she couldn't lay whisper of, especially in the company of a sorcerer such as he.

She had a job to be done within the walls of Camelot, and if he had ever caught wind of her true intentions she would most likely be sent to a fate worse than the death.

"She felt this as well. And it was only a few months after we had both realized these feelings when we wed in a private ceremony, in the middle of the woods, beneath the most enchanting tree you could ever imagine. Our relationship was kept a secret from everyone...who could I trust with such a revelation that I was consorting with a witch? Within the first year of our marriage, she found out she was pregnant with my child. I was [b]elated![/b] I would finally be a father, to hold, to love, and to cherish a child I could call my own. She shared in my jubilee, and from that day forward we would mark off every week, every month until the day would come for us to welcome our little one into the world. She was in her third trimester and we were both incredibly anxious, I told her to wait for me by our tree where I would determine our child's gender for the first time. Then....when I went to meet her, she wasn't there. Perturbed, I looked everywhere she could have been, every hideout she used in the Wilds, any nearby towns or settlements. Nowhere. Even worse....I could no longer sense her with my magic, her aura...it had disappeared. My wife had vanished, without even closure to grant me knowledge of her fate. I was left alone...from that day forth, I spent the next few centuries journeying from realm to realm in search of her. Deep within my heart I knew I would not find her, that she was gone. But I continued my search with a heavy heart, and my hopes constantly dashed as my searches led me nowhere. Eventually I gave up, my memory haunted by memories of her...of the child I would never know, never hold." 

Letting out a deep sigh as he finished his tale, visibly saddened by letting the memories flood to the surface. Merlin looked down at the ground, as if recovering himself before looking back up at Morgana, speaking again, "I have never taken on another wife of my own in the time since then, nor have I sired any other children. My heart is too heavy for that. And yet...past all the pain, all the...the bad memories. There is a shining gem, a remembrance of the good times that we had. I may never know what happened to my wife, my Moira. But I can honor her memory, as she would have wanted. The point I'm trying to reach is that: your life is a collection of good and bad memories, times of great celebration, and times of mourning. Love and hate, birth and death, life, and loss...one can not live unless they have experienced both hardship and peace. You are strong, Lady Morgana...and you will get through this. I simply want to ask you: where would you be without the bad memories?" 

She lowered her gaze slightly, her muscles still tense as she allowed herself to sit upon his words, contemplating them and thinking hard before she spoke her answer, still quite unsure of herself as she let honesty ring out within her words, "I do not know... But I can say with certainty that I would not be sitting here today in your company had passed events not happened to me as they had..."

Reaching out she let her fingers play gently with the folds of her gown, her legs crossing as she thought about how best to word her question towards him, "I understand now why you wish for me to keep the memories that my mind holds, how you do not wish to tamper with my past, however... Is there nothing you can do? Nothing at all that would allow me peace throughout the night? I would hate to disappoint through lack of sleep, my duties are of course, of great importance..."

Merlin, seeming to have the cloud of pain that hung over him dissipate as quickly as it arrived, nodded slowly. "Yes, yes, I believe I have [b]just[/b] the thing." Standing up from his seat once again, Merlin attended to the long shelves nailed to one of the stone walls, groaning with the added weight of numerous potions, salves, poultices, and alchemical ingredients; some local and identifiable, some looking as though they were completely and utterly unnatural.

"Ah, here we are." Merlin mumbled to himself amidst other things whilst looking through the shelves. 

Procuring a small bottle filled with a bright purple liquid from the stores of potions, Merlin returned to the table, gently placing it in front of Morgana. "Here, this is a mixed extract containing the petals of a very rare flower known only to bloom during a full moon, whilst it is harmed by direct sunlight. Pour this extract in a cup of tea or water before going to bed each night, it should calm you down and give you a restful night's sleep. Don't drink it straight from the bottle or use anymore than a few drops. I hope it helps you with your plight." Merlin explained, finishing with another warm smile beneath his hood. 

Biting the inside of her lip she stared at the potion that he had placed on the table before her, the bright purple liquid catching her eye curiously as she listened to his explanation on how to use it correctly. Nodding she reached out taking it in her hand, her body raising from the chair as she nodded repeating his instructions so that he knew that she had indeed been listening to him, "Do not drink from the bottle, nor use more than but a few drops. Take with either water or tea just before I retire for the night... I understand."

"Good. And if you have anymore nightmares, Lady Morgana...know that there's always time to talk if you so wish." Merlin assured her kindly.

Forcing a gently smile to her lips she moved around the table heading back towards the way she had come, reaching for the handle she hesitated a moment before gazing back over her shoulders at him, her eyes full of worry though that had nothing to do with her night terrors, "Thank you... [color=LightSlateGray]Emeris[/color]..."

Opening the door quickly she slipped back into the corridor, her footsteps slowly getting further and further away with each step she took through the castles halls.

Watching her as she left, Merlin's gaze shifted as he heard her footsteps echoing down the corridor, his mouth twitching as he magically closed the door once more, making sure to lock it for good measure. 

Returning to his desk, Merlin pondered on her last sentence...using his name. The only way she could have known it would have been if a Cleric had somehow entered Camelot. If that were the case, Merlin knew he would have to figure out a solution before King Uther's wrath fell upon him. 

Unable to focus on writing manuscripts, Merlin once again rose from his seat to his window, looking out over the sprawling city with a searching eye.[/i]

*~*~*

Returning to reality once again, the Sorcerer remembered the meeting between himself and Morgana as though it had happened only five minutes ago. How close had she been to her fall, then; her descent into darkness? Before he could contemplate further on this thought, however, another one, more terrifying struck him...she had used his [i]name[/i]. The name the Clerics had known him as: [color=LightSlateGray][i]Emeris[/i][/color]. Back then all he could think about were Clerics wandering Camelot, never had he stopped and pondered how she knew [i]his[/i] name, specifically. 

That could only mean one thing: she had known who he was from the start. 

Especially perturbed by this sudden revelation, the Sorcerer suddenly felt very uncomfortable, as if he were being watched. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore providing him no more comfort. He stood from the rock he had been sitting on, looking around everywhere in case someone was watching...stalking. 

Slowly relaxing as he tethered his mind back to the [i]real[/i], the Sorcerer made his way back to his cave. He needed to see how events were transpiring on Earth....