[b]Our Hero - Rooftop Interrogation Chamber, Siberia[/b]

"I got, uh...", Our Hero reached into his pants, retrieving what amounted to an enormous pile of long, sturdily-knit, mismatched socks
[color=bc8dbf]"Ah, yes, Our Hero's Christmas gifts from the last three years running. It appears that, while [i]naughty[/i] children may get coal, [i]disappointing[/i] children get socks."[/color]
"Ignore him."
Our Hero began to knot the socks together, forming a long and decently-serviceable rope out of the wool.
[color=bc8dbf]"And like magic, years of passive-aggression are converted into a usable item!"[/color]
"Yeah, yeah.", Our Hero responded humorlessly, "So uh, you there, America guy. This work?"