Why are you ruining all our fun and banning the only decent thread in Spam? :(

I mean, I have to leave for urgent surgery for a couple days and I come back and all you fuckers are being dull as bricks again. Goddamnit. Sitting in the hospital doing precisely fuck all for 2 days was better than this shit.

And yes, Hank, I [i]am[/i] butthurt. Both figuratively and literally, considering the surgery was on my coccyx. But srslyuguise, I feel like not everyone is putting as much effort into reviving Spam (read: OTT hating on specific people and drama, which has always been Spam's lifeblood) as others. I want to see equal effort from all of you. 

I'm officially inciting a riot, or the forum form of a riot. Do something entertaining, all of you. What happened to the days of dolphin tits? Won't [i]someone[/i] think of the dolphin tits?